Lets NOT talk about sex

 

Last Sunday I sat through a sermon where the preacher was giving an example of how conflicts occur and she was talking about how young people get into "agreements" and this creates an atmosphere for conflict. mmmh....didn't get what she meant? me neither so instead of her calling things as they are and call it shacking up or come-we-stay arrangements she decided to just call it arrangements and failed to hit the nail on the head and drive the point home.

Then there was a time a certain church in Nairobi made headlines because of the way they decided to advertise their next sermon on sex and relationships. Every talk show for two weeks was talking about how they "failed" just because they were bold enough to say it as it is. I sit every day in loud 'matatus' where half..okay more than half of the music played is talking about sex....not just mentioning it..but in detail..such detail that makes you create a video in your head to go with the song (I need to stop procrastinating taking those driving lessons). So why is it that the world is so bold to talk about sex and no one complains but when the church is bold enough to even hint they are talking about sex..they get bashed?

I once wrote an article on sex and purposely sent it to the church editors to publish it in the monthly booklet.....they outright told me that the church does not post "such" articles....so if am not writing about how God is merciful, baptism, the holy trinity...etc my articles will not appear in the booklet.

I have a colleague who is always making fun of how church girls and boys...pretend to go on church retreats then a few months later the girl drops out of choir or praise and worship because she is pregnant....my first reaction to his statement was to get defensive but after thinking it through ...he was right....and why does this happen? Because the church is too "shy" to talk about sex.

The church has become too busy coming up with sermons that would bring in more people...certainly no one wants a small church ....so if the church is referred to as MEGA...the better...at what cost?

John 6:53: Jesus said to them, "Very truly I tell you, unless you eat the flesh of the Son of Man and drink his blood, you have no life in you.

I can picture Jesus saying this to the crowd and probably the disciples going like..."There is that flesh eating sermon, now they will think we are a bunch of weirdos" another one going like.."why can't He just talk about grace and other nice things..He has to go all weird on us, we will certainly lose followers". But Jesus was focused on saving lives by saying the truth as it is, so you would either receive or walk away but as long as He had done His Father's will.

Mathew 5:13: You are the salt of the earth. But if the salt loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled underfoot.

The church has lost its saltiness in such a way now it is conforming to the standards of this world......The church has become so afraid to call sexual sin as it is....fornication, homosexuality, adultery.....in the name of growing the church...to build bigger structures....to be known as a MEGA church.

I particularly touch on sex because I have attended youth services and teens' services whereby the pastors touch around this topic but never really talking about it. 

So what happens when the world is louder than the church when talking about sex? We start having conversations on giving teenagers contraceptives......we start having kids as young as 13 going to clinics to abort....we start having teenager's having multiple partners because no one ever sat them down and told them why God says sex is sacred.....why God says that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit....no one told them sex is just not  physical its beyond that and you form soul ties with people...that saving yourself for marriage is not lame but its the best thing you can give your spouse....

.Instead the church has left it to the world to tell them..that sex is an art that is to be perfected by having many partners....that you should "test drive" the person you are dating before you marry them.....that being a virgin is something to be ashamed of....

Its time for the church to be bold.....because we will be held accountable for the Gospel that Christ left for us to preach...when He comes back having a MEGA church will not matter what will matter is how many souls we would have saved by being bold in sharing the gospel as it is...no sugar coating...but being real.

MOMENTS TO REMEMBER

 

There are moments when I have wanted to give up, because the situation I was in was not changing, I mean I prayed about it,cried to God about it, I did my very best to make the situation change but nothing!
In such moments I am reminded, that God's perfect will must prevail even if it means I do not get what I want....I am reminded that when I decide to trust God, I have to let go of my plans which includes my timing. So in my weakest moments, I am reminded that God will renew my strength and I will soar on wings like eagles and I will run and not grow weary and walk and not be faint.

There are moments when I have had my heart broken and my dreams shattered....all I wanted to do during these times is to stay angry at God for allowing these things to happen to me. In such moments I am reminded that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, I am reminded that God has plans for my life that are aimed at giving me hope, I am reminded that He already had a plan for my life when I was in my mother's womb. I am reminded that He is able to do exceedingly, abundantly, above and beyond what I can ever imagine or think of. So in my pain, I am reminded that He is faithful to complete the work He started in me.

There are moments when I have lost my way and I stopped looking to Christ to be my source and instead turned to myself and other people. In these moments, I am reminded that there is nothing I can do without Him, I am reminded that God is the source of all things, I am reminded that what is impossible with man is possible with God, I am reminded that I should always ask God to bless my plans in order for them to succeed. So, in my ignorance, I am reminded that I cannot live without Him.

There are moments when I worry about my life and the paths I take. In this moments I am reminded that I cannot add any days to my life by worrying, I am reminded that my life is in the hand of the creator of the universe and nothing can shake me off that hand, I am reminded that I should not be anxious about anything but in everything I should make my request made known to God, I am reminded that the peace God offers is beyond human understanding.So in my moments of doubt, I am reminded that my Father is the maker of Heaven and Earth.

There are moments I have felt inadequate and felt like my looks, my gifts and my qualifications are not enough for the tasks I have been entrusted to do. In these moments I am reminded that I am able to do all things through Christ who strengthens me, I am reminded that if God is for me, who can be against me?, I am reminded that I should be strong and courageous for God is with me. So in my fear, I am reminded that God has not given me a spirit of fear but of power, love and self control.

5 THINGS I WISH EVERY WOMAN WOULD KNOW

1. Christ should be your first love

The reason why as women we usually end up giving our hearts to the wrong man is because we don't understand what real love looks like so we tend to fall for the counterfeit love offered with the first man who whispers in our ears sweet words.
If only we would take time and fall in love with Christ and have a real relationship with Him first before letting any man have our hearts then we will start looking at ourselves through God's eyes where we are beautiful, loved, talented, smart.....and maybe then we would truly understand our worth and raise our standards and in turn only a man who has asked Christ about you will be able to win your heart.

Revelation 2:4-5 But I have this against you, that you have abandoned the love you had at first. Remember therefore from where you have fallen; repent, and do the works you did at first. If not, I will come to you and remove your lamp stand from its place, unless you repent. 

May we never forget that there is already a man who loves us so much that He thinks we are to die for, may we never forget there is already a man who pursues us relentlessly to just see us have life in abundance, may we never forget that there is a man who already says that we are beautifully and wonderfully made....may we never forget that Christ loved us even before we loved Him.
  
2. True love waits
This sentence has been used so many times and nowdays it is only applicable when you are talking to teenagers about love because no grown woman believes this.
Ladies you need to understand that even if sex is a need to men they can still wait if they truly love you. The minute a man pushes you to have sex with him before marriage it should be a red flag and you need to run because that man is not in love with you. Yes, he whispers to you during sex that he loves you...no hunnie he is in love with the sex. Yes, he has given you time when you are dating...maybe you made him wait for three months or a month before you gave it up to him but fact remains is that he is NOT your husband why do you think he has the right to have your body?

Ephesians 5: 27: that He might present to Himself the church in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that she would be holy and blameless.

Do you know that the man should present you without spot or wrinkle, holy and blameless at the altar?

Ladies, its time you understand that a man who truly loves you  will wait for you.

3. Tearing down other women is just tacky!
News flash: There will always be another woman who is prettier, more curvy, taller, slimmer, has a better job, a better car, a better dress, a better looking man....you name it....so deal with it!
What benefits us women to tear down other women because we view them as competition while the men are busy striking deals with each other, mentoring  younger men and helping each other up the ladder?
I believe women are unique and we are able to achieve so much more than we can imagine if only we helped each other instead of tearing down each other.

 Proverbs 31:26 :She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue

The woman described in proverbs 31 speaks with wisdom, meaning she thinks before she talks, she does not slander, she does not gossip. She speaks in kindness meaning she does not insult others. 
Its time women realize that being an exceptional woman means building other women because it shows that you are confident in your own skin and you do not need to put another woman down to feel better about yourself.

4. Modesty is still a virtue
I once read this statement made by a man "If your goal as a woman is to be sexy, then you will only attract men whose primary goal is to have sex".
We have come to believe that less is better when it comes with the way we dress, the more heads we turn the better we look. without realizing that we are turning heads for the wrong reasons.

1 Corinthians 6:19-20: Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.

1 Timothy 2:9-10 :Likewise also that women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel, with modesty and self-control, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly attire, but with what is proper for women who profess godliness—with good works.

1 Peter 3:3-4: Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious. 

May we strive to be beautiful inside and out, may we love ourselves in such a way we do not feel the need of proving it to the world. May we use wisdom in  choosing what to wear.

5.Godly man Vs "Saved" Man

I have heard so many women say "saved" men are the worst! because they are pretenders.When i further investigate why they say so...I always end up with giving this difference...

A "saved" man will go to church every sunday, quote scripture but still try to get you in bed. A godly man will go to church, quote scripture and protect your purity.

A "saved" guy would have no problem trying to sleep with you before marriage.He wants the relationship between just you two. He wants little if any accountability  and little or no interaction with family members. Forget about him agreeing to meet your pastor or even your parents before he takes you out. He is afraid of commitment and meeting those people will scare him off. He doesn't want everyone's opinion and wants everyone in his "business." Marriage is not the goal, he just wants to date with the selfish goals of having fun and enjoying romantic attachments.
During courtship, the man after God's heart works at keeping you both pure because he honors you and God. He will talk to your parents, pastor, or mentor in  life when he is interested in pursuing you. He will be invested in getting you to grow in the Lord and will initiate prayer and lead bible study. He seeks the accountability and wisdom of their parents,other mentors, and Christians. He wants to truly get to know you in a more platonic setting without the pressures of physical intimacy or emotions clouding your view. His goal is to seek to determine if it is God’s will for him to marry you.

Do not take the man at his word....the proof is in the fruits he produces. Observe his life, is he seeking God more than you....is his life directed by God?

Eventually ladies a man who is not led by God will only lead you to himself. 

So do not confuse the two..there are godly men out there who are truly after God's own heart let not the counterfeits fool you.

Sorry God I messed up: Her story

 

This woman would go to the well to fetch water when no one was there. On this very day she met a Jew at the well, the Jew was Jesus and He asked her to go call her husband but she was honest with Him and said did not have a husband even though she lived with a man. She had been with five men before....

Lets recap,So this woman was a Samaritan (they were considered less compared to Jews), she had been with five men (probably the whole village knew that is why she was ashamed to go out for water when she everyone was there) lets not forget the obvious, she is a woman (they were at that time not considered that important). No wonder she didn't see the logic in Jesus talking to her and asking for water.......

This other woman was known for the kind of life she lived, she was a prostitute...she practically walked into a feast where Jesus was eating at a Pharisee's house and came with the most expensive perfume that she had and washed Jesus' feet with her tears and her hair .......

Lets recap, she was a prostitute...every one knew this even one person in the feast thought to themselves that if Jesus knew who was touching Him maybe He wouldn't allow it.....she boldly walked across to Jesus despite the ridicule and the voices around her just to get to Him....

Later on we see Jesus revealing Himself to the Samaritan woman as the  Messiah and the woman leaves in a hurry to go share with the people about Jesus and we see that a whole village was changed because of that one woman. That woman who was known to be promiscuous....that woman who the whole village had shunned....that woman who felt unworthy of giving Jesus water.

 John 4: 39:  Many of the Samaritans from that town believed in him because of the woman’s testimony, “He told me everything I ever did.

We see Jesus defending the woman and condemning the person who thought to himself that that woman is sinful and she shouldn't be washing His feet. We see Him, forgiving that woman for every sin she had committed and she walked away a different person, pure and blameless.

Luke 7: 50: Jesus said to the woman, “Because you believed, you are saved from your sins. Go in peace.”

Maybe you may be that woman who feels unworthy of God's grace because you have been with countless men or even one. You feel like Christ has shunned you because of the life you have lived.
Just a reminder that God wants to restore you back to Him, there is no mess too big, there is nothing you can ever do to make Him leave you....absolutely nothing!

Choose today that despite the whispers from people about you, you will go for Jesus relentlessly and allow Him to save you and cleanse you and restore your dignity.  
Choose today to go back to your first love and let Him show you what real love is...let Him give you the boldness to walk out of  any toxic relationship you may be in.
Choose today to go at His feet and weep and ask for His forgiveness.....

You may be chosen for as such a time as this to be that woman who will change a  village,town, city and impact a whole generation to walk in purity.

You are never too broken, too messed up, too lost for God to save you . He is knocking at your heart, let go of the shame, the heartache, the past, the abuse, the pain and let Him give you beauty for your ashes. All you have to say is SORRY GOD I MESSED UP.
 

Identity Crisis (Her)

 I recently put stick on nails, they looked so good up until when they started coming off one by one. It was during one of the sessions we had at a church camp I attended that two of the nails came off. So in between a powerful preaching on giving all I could think of is getting the super glue I had in my bag and step out to stick back the nails. So I stepped out and after looking around to see is the coast was clear I started the delicate procedure of sticking back the  nails only for one of my friends to approach me to ask what I was up to. I was so embarrassed, that was when it hit me how much  I valued having these nails, so much that I would walk out of such a session.

As women we tend at times to put so much value in the clothes we wear, the bags we carry, the kind of hair we have....basically we value how we look. Do not get me wrong, a woman has to look good but how much value do we put in these things? Do we value and identify ourselves with the number of designer bags we have, the price of the human hair we have? The type of shoes we can afford? It is so easy as women to put our value in all these things and easily forget to nourish the inner woman. I valued my nails so much to the extent of forgoing a session that would have taught me the importance of giving.

1 Peter 3:3-4: Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious.

Proverbs 3:15: She is more precious than jewels, and nothing you desire can compare with her.

2Corithians 4:16: So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day.

When the bible talks of letting the adorning be the hidden person of the heart, it points out that our inner beauty is more important than the beauty we have on the outside. We tend to focus so much on the physical we tend to forget the inner person who is meant to be gentle and kind to others. How many times have you met a pretty woman and when she opens up her mouth to speak all the beauty she has dissapears?
 The world nowadays tells women to be"sassy and classy" meaning you should be disrespectful, mouthy,  rude or mean  and play by your own rules (sassy) and to add to that you should be stylish carrying the latest designer bag, wearing the latest fashion and not to forget the shoes to match with it (classy)

Again do not get me wrong...a woman has to look good I am not advocating for women to start walking around care free claiming they are beautiful on the inside even though they do not make effort on the outside to make anyone interested in finding out  the inner beauty they have. But when did our identity as women dwindle down to just our physical appearance?
 I am intending to show women that their value and identity should not come from the clothes they wear, the bags they carry, the shoes they wear but their value and identity should be found in Christ.

When our identity is found in Christ then we would not have to borrow money so as to keep up with the latest fashion and socialites, we would still believe we are beautiful even when we go through the day without anyone complimenting us, we would not jeopardize our values for our looks. We would be so secure in our skin that we would not have to let the world define beauty for us, we would be all that God has called us to be.

In Christ you are a stunning beauty to die for, you are an unaffordable jewel....don't you forget that.

With Lots of love

Enid Nzisa

Purity: Shout out to all my ladies

My mother was at a seminar recently where she met a young girl who ended up opening up to her on relationships and she was complaining  how her new boyfriend is "boring" because he has not asked to have sex with her for the 7 months they have been dating. Shocked? no? yes? I was, at least now I am , I know a few years back I would have shared her sentiments.

I understand we live in a fallen world where being a virgin as a girl is no longer a good thing but something you should be ashamed of....I am not writing this to condemn anyone but to enable ladies to see things differently and I do not claim to be innocent or blameless, I claim to be saved by God's grace from a mess I had created by getting myself caught up in the wrong relationships...I am a really bad girl saved by a really good God.


In God's word ladies are instructed to NOT awaken love until its time...and I believe nothing written in the bible is written in vain because what happens when we awaken love before its time...we create soul ties with men who are not meant for us that is why we stick to wrong relationships, abusive relationships, it leads to a lot of heartache and pain just because of something that only seemed to be physical and we shared a moment that was meant to be shared in marriage with a random man. Well  you may say the guy is not random, you two are in love, engaged..etc but fact remains he is NOT your husband.

We come up with all sorts of excuses for men and claim that he is good, he treats you right, he is "religious" but every now and then you two have sex....any man who is okay with having sex with you before marriage is not for you, He is not God's best for you....how can a God who wants us to stay pure in our singleness want you to be with someone who does not protect that purity?

We claim we can change men that is why so many Christian/saved girls are trying to make relationships work with guys who are not saved, they keep dragging them to church every Sunday hoping to change them ignoring God's word which says that you should not be unequally yoked and make up our own rules because we are afraid of ending up alone.

I believe God has a different plan for women , A woman is a jewel, so precious, so rare...she should be treated with dignity but how do we expect to be treated with dignity when we give every guy husband benefits...we are sleeping in his bed every weekend, cooking, cleaning and when he gets tired and dumps us we curse and call him a dog when all along we are the ones who gave it up for just a pair of legs and some muscle not realizing how valuable we are.

I believe when  women  will start seeing themselves through God's eyes that is when things will change because in His eyes we are precious, loved, smart, beautiful, talented, favored....in a way that we cannot even imagine but over and over again we lose sight of this and end up desperate for any man who will pay attention to us forgetting the only man who deserves that desperation died on the cross for us because He loved us so much.

Until when women will go back to their first love (not your first boyfriend), I mean Christ who first loved us even before we were formed in our mother's womb. The man who literally gave up everything for you, the one who sees you crying every night because you gave your heart to the wrong man, the one who holds your hand when you realized you got pregnant and the man responsible denied it, the man who will NEVER leave you nor forsake you. Until we fall in love with Christ first we will continue "giving it up" for every guy who calls us beautiful or buys us lunch or takes us on an expensive trip.

My desire is for women to realize that the man who God desires for you to be with will respect your purity and will protect it until he calls you his wife. I urge you to wait on God's timing for Him to reveal that man to you but until He does, enjoy life, build yourself, read more, learn how to cook, have fun with your girlfriends and never forget your heart first belongs to Christ before anyone else.

With lots of love

Enid Nzisa

The struggle is real

Going down memory lane I remember there was a time I would never tell the truth even if I was caught in the act, as a result..even when I would tell the truth my mother would never believe me. I do not know where I got the idea of praying about it, I must have been 5 or 6 years and asked God to help me to stop lying. With time I would start feeling guilty about lying and I started telling the truth even though it took my mother like a decade to truly see I had changed, I was happy I was free from the habit.

We all have things that we struggle with...be it gossiping, lying, holding grudges,alcoholism, sexual sin,....the list is endless.It is part of being human, we are faulty since the fall of man, some struggles may seem bigger than others and as we grow up the struggles seem to get more complicated and serious.

I am still surprised that at such a young age when I did not know God, I sincerely went to Him and asked Him to help me because I knew I would not do it on my own.

2 Corinthians 12:9-12 : But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

1 Corinthians 10:13: No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.

1 John 4:4 Little children, you are from God and have overcome them, for he who is in you is greater than he who is in the world

Just a few scriptures to show you that God is concerned about the areas in your life that you struggle with, there is nothing so shameful, disgusting, so bad that He cannot deliver you from. His grace is sufficient, His love is never ending, there is nothing on this earth and in heaven that can make Him stop loving you leave alone the struggles that you have. He wants you to come just as you are and ask Him to help you overcome, because you are more than a conqueror in Christ Jesus.

So today, I urge you to leave the guilt, the shame....and say a sincere prayer to Him, for Him to deliver you and walk with you. The struggles will always be there as long as we are in the flesh but He will deliver us from each one of them as long as we let Him work in us, He is faithful to complete the work He will begin until you are free.

The struggle is real, but His grace, love, forgiveness, faithfulness is more real than anything else and in the end they will remain.