Sorry God I messed up: Her story

 

This woman would go to the well to fetch water when no one was there. On this very day she met a Jew at the well, the Jew was Jesus and He asked her to go call her husband but she was honest with Him and said did not have a husband even though she lived with a man. She had been with five men before....

Lets recap,So this woman was a Samaritan (they were considered less compared to Jews), she had been with five men (probably the whole village knew that is why she was ashamed to go out for water when she everyone was there) lets not forget the obvious, she is a woman (they were at that time not considered that important). No wonder she didn't see the logic in Jesus talking to her and asking for water.......

This other woman was known for the kind of life she lived, she was a prostitute...she practically walked into a feast where Jesus was eating at a Pharisee's house and came with the most expensive perfume that she had and washed Jesus' feet with her tears and her hair .......

Lets recap, she was a prostitute...every one knew this even one person in the feast thought to themselves that if Jesus knew who was touching Him maybe He wouldn't allow it.....she boldly walked across to Jesus despite the ridicule and the voices around her just to get to Him....

Later on we see Jesus revealing Himself to the Samaritan woman as the  Messiah and the woman leaves in a hurry to go share with the people about Jesus and we see that a whole village was changed because of that one woman. That woman who was known to be promiscuous....that woman who the whole village had shunned....that woman who felt unworthy of giving Jesus water.

 John 4: 39:  Many of the Samaritans from that town believed in him because of the woman’s testimony, “He told me everything I ever did.

We see Jesus defending the woman and condemning the person who thought to himself that that woman is sinful and she shouldn't be washing His feet. We see Him, forgiving that woman for every sin she had committed and she walked away a different person, pure and blameless.

Luke 7: 50: Jesus said to the woman, “Because you believed, you are saved from your sins. Go in peace.”

Maybe you may be that woman who feels unworthy of God's grace because you have been with countless men or even one. You feel like Christ has shunned you because of the life you have lived.
Just a reminder that God wants to restore you back to Him, there is no mess too big, there is nothing you can ever do to make Him leave you....absolutely nothing!

Choose today that despite the whispers from people about you, you will go for Jesus relentlessly and allow Him to save you and cleanse you and restore your dignity.  
Choose today to go back to your first love and let Him show you what real love is...let Him give you the boldness to walk out of  any toxic relationship you may be in.
Choose today to go at His feet and weep and ask for His forgiveness.....

You may be chosen for as such a time as this to be that woman who will change a  village,town, city and impact a whole generation to walk in purity.

You are never too broken, too messed up, too lost for God to save you . He is knocking at your heart, let go of the shame, the heartache, the past, the abuse, the pain and let Him give you beauty for your ashes. All you have to say is SORRY GOD I MESSED UP.
 

Identity Crisis (Her)

 I recently put stick on nails, they looked so good up until when they started coming off one by one. It was during one of the sessions we had at a church camp I attended that two of the nails came off. So in between a powerful preaching on giving all I could think of is getting the super glue I had in my bag and step out to stick back the nails. So I stepped out and after looking around to see is the coast was clear I started the delicate procedure of sticking back the  nails only for one of my friends to approach me to ask what I was up to. I was so embarrassed, that was when it hit me how much  I valued having these nails, so much that I would walk out of such a session.

As women we tend at times to put so much value in the clothes we wear, the bags we carry, the kind of hair we have....basically we value how we look. Do not get me wrong, a woman has to look good but how much value do we put in these things? Do we value and identify ourselves with the number of designer bags we have, the price of the human hair we have? The type of shoes we can afford? It is so easy as women to put our value in all these things and easily forget to nourish the inner woman. I valued my nails so much to the extent of forgoing a session that would have taught me the importance of giving.

1 Peter 3:3-4: Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious.

Proverbs 3:15: She is more precious than jewels, and nothing you desire can compare with her.

2Corithians 4:16: So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day.

When the bible talks of letting the adorning be the hidden person of the heart, it points out that our inner beauty is more important than the beauty we have on the outside. We tend to focus so much on the physical we tend to forget the inner person who is meant to be gentle and kind to others. How many times have you met a pretty woman and when she opens up her mouth to speak all the beauty she has dissapears?
 The world nowadays tells women to be"sassy and classy" meaning you should be disrespectful, mouthy,  rude or mean  and play by your own rules (sassy) and to add to that you should be stylish carrying the latest designer bag, wearing the latest fashion and not to forget the shoes to match with it (classy)

Again do not get me wrong...a woman has to look good I am not advocating for women to start walking around care free claiming they are beautiful on the inside even though they do not make effort on the outside to make anyone interested in finding out  the inner beauty they have. But when did our identity as women dwindle down to just our physical appearance?
 I am intending to show women that their value and identity should not come from the clothes they wear, the bags they carry, the shoes they wear but their value and identity should be found in Christ.

When our identity is found in Christ then we would not have to borrow money so as to keep up with the latest fashion and socialites, we would still believe we are beautiful even when we go through the day without anyone complimenting us, we would not jeopardize our values for our looks. We would be so secure in our skin that we would not have to let the world define beauty for us, we would be all that God has called us to be.

In Christ you are a stunning beauty to die for, you are an unaffordable jewel....don't you forget that.

With Lots of love

Enid Nzisa

Purity: Shout out to all my ladies

My mother was at a seminar recently where she met a young girl who ended up opening up to her on relationships and she was complaining  how her new boyfriend is "boring" because he has not asked to have sex with her for the 7 months they have been dating. Shocked? no? yes? I was, at least now I am , I know a few years back I would have shared her sentiments.

I understand we live in a fallen world where being a virgin as a girl is no longer a good thing but something you should be ashamed of....I am not writing this to condemn anyone but to enable ladies to see things differently and I do not claim to be innocent or blameless, I claim to be saved by God's grace from a mess I had created by getting myself caught up in the wrong relationships...I am a really bad girl saved by a really good God.


In God's word ladies are instructed to NOT awaken love until its time...and I believe nothing written in the bible is written in vain because what happens when we awaken love before its time...we create soul ties with men who are not meant for us that is why we stick to wrong relationships, abusive relationships, it leads to a lot of heartache and pain just because of something that only seemed to be physical and we shared a moment that was meant to be shared in marriage with a random man. Well  you may say the guy is not random, you two are in love, engaged..etc but fact remains he is NOT your husband.

We come up with all sorts of excuses for men and claim that he is good, he treats you right, he is "religious" but every now and then you two have sex....any man who is okay with having sex with you before marriage is not for you, He is not God's best for you....how can a God who wants us to stay pure in our singleness want you to be with someone who does not protect that purity?

We claim we can change men that is why so many Christian/saved girls are trying to make relationships work with guys who are not saved, they keep dragging them to church every Sunday hoping to change them ignoring God's word which says that you should not be unequally yoked and make up our own rules because we are afraid of ending up alone.

I believe God has a different plan for women , A woman is a jewel, so precious, so rare...she should be treated with dignity but how do we expect to be treated with dignity when we give every guy husband benefits...we are sleeping in his bed every weekend, cooking, cleaning and when he gets tired and dumps us we curse and call him a dog when all along we are the ones who gave it up for just a pair of legs and some muscle not realizing how valuable we are.

I believe when  women  will start seeing themselves through God's eyes that is when things will change because in His eyes we are precious, loved, smart, beautiful, talented, favored....in a way that we cannot even imagine but over and over again we lose sight of this and end up desperate for any man who will pay attention to us forgetting the only man who deserves that desperation died on the cross for us because He loved us so much.

Until when women will go back to their first love (not your first boyfriend), I mean Christ who first loved us even before we were formed in our mother's womb. The man who literally gave up everything for you, the one who sees you crying every night because you gave your heart to the wrong man, the one who holds your hand when you realized you got pregnant and the man responsible denied it, the man who will NEVER leave you nor forsake you. Until we fall in love with Christ first we will continue "giving it up" for every guy who calls us beautiful or buys us lunch or takes us on an expensive trip.

My desire is for women to realize that the man who God desires for you to be with will respect your purity and will protect it until he calls you his wife. I urge you to wait on God's timing for Him to reveal that man to you but until He does, enjoy life, build yourself, read more, learn how to cook, have fun with your girlfriends and never forget your heart first belongs to Christ before anyone else.

With lots of love

Enid Nzisa

The struggle is real

Going down memory lane I remember there was a time I would never tell the truth even if I was caught in the act, as a result..even when I would tell the truth my mother would never believe me. I do not know where I got the idea of praying about it, I must have been 5 or 6 years and asked God to help me to stop lying. With time I would start feeling guilty about lying and I started telling the truth even though it took my mother like a decade to truly see I had changed, I was happy I was free from the habit.

We all have things that we struggle with...be it gossiping, lying, holding grudges,alcoholism, sexual sin,....the list is endless.It is part of being human, we are faulty since the fall of man, some struggles may seem bigger than others and as we grow up the struggles seem to get more complicated and serious.

I am still surprised that at such a young age when I did not know God, I sincerely went to Him and asked Him to help me because I knew I would not do it on my own.

2 Corinthians 12:9-12 : But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

1 Corinthians 10:13: No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.

1 John 4:4 Little children, you are from God and have overcome them, for he who is in you is greater than he who is in the world

Just a few scriptures to show you that God is concerned about the areas in your life that you struggle with, there is nothing so shameful, disgusting, so bad that He cannot deliver you from. His grace is sufficient, His love is never ending, there is nothing on this earth and in heaven that can make Him stop loving you leave alone the struggles that you have. He wants you to come just as you are and ask Him to help you overcome, because you are more than a conqueror in Christ Jesus.

So today, I urge you to leave the guilt, the shame....and say a sincere prayer to Him, for Him to deliver you and walk with you. The struggles will always be there as long as we are in the flesh but He will deliver us from each one of them as long as we let Him work in us, He is faithful to complete the work He will begin until you are free.

The struggle is real, but His grace, love, forgiveness, faithfulness is more real than anything else and in the end they will remain. 

It does not make sense!

I have been through some experiences for the last few weeks that did not make sense to me, I got some sort of food poisoning then the medicine brought further complications with my liver. It did not make sense at all that my liver would have any problems, I mean I exercise, I drink a lot of water, I try to eat healthy and I do  not take alcohol so why??? It made me stay indoors for almost two weeks...
Then, my cousin passed away this week and it is the most devastating news I have heard for a very long time, at the age of 24 her life was cut short and to me it did not make sense as to why would she go when she was just starting to build her life.
A lot of things happen to us that do not make a whole lot of sense no matter how many times you will try to look at the situation.

It does not make sense when after you have prayed for work for a long time and you get fired within a short time without doing anything wrong.
It does not make sense when the person who you thought was the "one" walks out on you and does not look back.
It does not make sense when you lose your loved one whether young or old.
It does not make sense when you planned out your business plan so well and prayed about it then a few months later it collapses and you are left with debts.
It does not make sense when you work so hard in school and end up failing your exams.

In short....a lot of things that happen do not make sense to us, because we do not get  the expected results after mixing all the right formulas.

I learned/ I am learning a few things during this time, indulge me for a few minutes and read:


1.God is still in control

Just because we FEEL like God is not present does not mean He is not there. God is always there, there is nothing that happens to us without His knowledge. Our emotions are not a determinant of His presence. God in His unlimited knowledge knows why certain things happen in our lives and we might not get the answer at all or we might get the answer after sometime.
He says in His word that He will NEVER leave us nor forsake us, meaning in the good and bad times He is still present , when things seem to be out of control, He is still there.

Deuteronomy 31: 8 It is the Lord who goes before you. He will be with you; he will not leave you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed.” 

Deuteronomy 31: 6

Be strong and courageous. Do not fear or be in dread of them, for it is the Lord your God who goes with you. He will not leave you or forsake you.” 

You can have confidence during this time that God is right there with you, holding your hand so you can go through these trying times.

2. God has a purpose

I had become so busy, working two jobs, I would rush every morning without spending time with God as I used to. When I fell sick I had all this time in the world to just sit in His presence and learn from Him, and during this time I felt God's love in a whole special way I had not before. He is my healer, comforter, my strength and pillar. I was reminded why I would take time every morning to pray and read His word.

He has a great and mighty plan for us, going through these tough times never means that God no longer has those plans for us. He has a purpose for everything He does, He has planned your life from beginning to end even before you were formed in your mother's womb.
How amazing is that? that God already set out things in motion so you would have this great future that you cannot imagine and at times these hard times are part of those plans for God to get you to where He wants you, where you losing that job was His way of bringing you to a better one, where that person walking away was His way of Him connecting you to the love of your life.

Jeremiah 29:11-14 :For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will hear you. You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you, declares the Lord, and I will restore your fortunes and gather you from all the nations and all the places where I have driven you, declares the Lord, and I will bring you back to the place from which I sent you into exile.

 

Jeremiah 1:5 “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, and before you were born I consecrated you; I appointed you a prophet to the nations.” 

 

3. God is constant

 We are familiar with the greeting ; "God is good ALL the time" ALL meaning in the good and bad times, God is good. When we have plenty or nothing God is good, when we are healthy or unwell God is good. God remains good and faithful ALL the time, He cannot change, He is the same yesterday today and forever. Being good and faithful is what He is.

So no matter what you are facing God is good ALL the time.

Hebrews 13:8 Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever. 

Malachi 3:6  “For I the Lord do not change; therefore you, O children of Jacob, are not consumed. 

 

Revelation 1:8“I am the Alpha and the Omega,” says the Lord God, “who is and who was and who is to come, the Almighty.” 

 

My prayer is that even when things do not make sense, we will have hope in the fact that for every heartache that touches our lives goes through His hand and He will never give us anything that we cannot withstand. That during these days we will be confident and trust in the one who knows it all.

So when it does not make sense trust in the one who is able to do ALL things and will give you the strength to do ALL things.

Lessons learned after one year of going back to my FIRST LOVE

 
So it has been a year since, to be precise it has been one year and four months since I turned back and decided to go back to the ONE who loved me first even before I came into existence.

I want to share a few lessons I have learned over the year, and I must say that it has been the BEST year of my life.

1. GOD NEVER GIVES UP ON YOU

I can now actually look back and  I get to see how God was relentless in His pursuit to save me from myself. I got so many convictions that I ignored until I could not ignore anymore. Recently a friend of mine mentioned she was praying for me every morning she would go out to pray about a certain area of my life and I believe those prayers are what God used to get me back.
I got to the point where I would have sleepless nights and I would smile on the outside but I was miserable and I knew things had to change so I had a choice of either continue in my pitiful situation or change things. I am glad I got the convictions and God used those around me to turn my attention back to Him.
God will do anything to get your attention drawn back to Him, He loves you so much that He would even take away some things or people from you rather that watch you self destruct. He is so passionate about humanity that He gave up His ONLY son to die on the cross for us, its amazing to know such an amazing God who does not NEED me WANTS me! It blows me away to know He would customize situations and place certain people in my life in order to get me back to Him.

Deuteronomy 31:8: It is the Lord who goes before you. He will be with you; He will not leave you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed.”

2. ITS NEVER TOO LATE

Ever felt like you have messed up so much? you have done so many bad things that God would not want you?
That is a lie from the devil!  I believed that lie, I felt like it was too late for me to turn back and ask for forgiveness and start over. Like His word says He stands at the door knocking and whoever will open the door and let Him in, He will dwell there. He is constantly giving us opportunities to turn to Him, to choose Him and walk with Him. 
If  you are reading this and you have not received Him as your Savior or you did in the past and now you seem to have wandered off, I just want to tell you that He is right there ready to receive you with open arms and wipe the slate clean, He will remember your sins no more. He will make you new and you no longer have to  hold on to unforgiveness, shame, pain or guilt. 
All you need to do is repent and ask Him to come into your heart and believe in your heart that Jesus died on the cross for your sins.

1 John 1:9: If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. 

Hebrews 8:12 : For I will be merciful toward their iniquities, and I will remember their sins no more.” 

 

3. HE WILL LEAD YOU

 

For the longest time I believed that being a Christian meant that I had to work so hard to be good hence I decided that it would require so much effort that I do not want to put in and after all I had failed so many times.

Christianity is usually seen as a difficult way to live but in my opinion its just the simplest and uncomplicated way you can live. Do not get me wrong yes there will be challenges what I mean is, for the longest time Christianity has been confused with religion where you are meant to adhere to certain rules. When it is a completely different thing, this is where God places the Holy Spirit to lead you and to show you the way to live, as  a Christian when you finally decide to follow the leading of the Spirit instead of trying to do things through your own strength is when true freedom is realized.

So all you need to do is to ask Him to help you live by His word, grow your relationship with Him, read His word, spend time with Him.

 

John 14:26: But the Helper, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, he will teach you all things and bring to your remembrance all that I have said to you. 

 

Romans 8:26: Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words.

 

 

In this day and age where it seems easier to live by our own rules and do things just because other people are doing and disregard what God says concerning certain things it is so easy to start with so much zeal for Christ but only after sometime get yourself back to where you began or even in a worse condition.

 

My message is that ...life outside Christ is worthless and meaningless, and that is why we run around looking for comfort in relationships, drugs, alcohol, etc but always end up empty. Until the day as a human being you come to the realization that Christ is the only one who can fill that void is the day when you will be free in this life.

I will share more on the lessons learned with time and some of the things I have seen God do in my life. It is the best decision I have ever made in my life and will ever make and so the journey of getting back to my first love continues and I am excited to see what He has in store for me.

 

What will people say about you?

It has been a while since I wrote anything on the blog, partly because I have been a bit busy but its been an amazing month so far. I believe there are seasons in our lives that God teaches us different things and for me this month after picking up a book called " Crazy love" I have been learning what it really means to love my God with all my heart, my mind and my soul and loving my neighbor as myself. So allow me to share some of the things I have been learning:

Funny how we make so many plans for our future, probably because we are expected to because one of the things that will determine as a young person that you are focused is if you are able to answer the question. "Where do you see yourself in five years?". The thing is our lives are so fragile, we are here today and gone the next day. I could die even before I finish this post or you could die before you finish reading it. Indulge me for a while and think about this:

What would people say about you once you are gone? Once they place you 6 feet under? Will they try to come up with adjectives just because we are told to respect the dead or will they have good things to say because of how you lived?

Just think about it.....how does your life look like? are we so caught up chasing our dreams that we forget that this life, me and you and everything in it is temporary and only God is eternal. Lets take an example: If you are given an option of choosing a job that only guarantees you employment for 3 months or choosing a job that will allow you to be employed for 5 years...well you might say it depends but most people will go for the one that offers 5 years. So why are we able to make that pick so easily but often times in this life we choose what is temporary to what is eternal?

Mathew 6: 19-21Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moths and vermin destroy, and where thieves break in and steal.  But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moths and vermin do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal.  For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.


What am I getting at? When Christ came on this earth He showed us the best example of loving God and loving our neighbors and left us the mandate to do the same...
What does it mean? It means everything in this life does not matter if we do not love others, meaning we might chase after things on this earth but in the end we will end up empty .
So when you are gone will people say you were the perfect example of God's love on this earth? Meaning did we put other people's needs before ours or were we just concerned about ourselves? Meaning did we care for the homeless, orphans and poor or were we so caught up in our lives to notice? Meaning did we ever purposefully look for ways to be a blessing to others or were we more concerned about what we would get from others?

When we leave this earth what will matter is what we stored up in heaven and not on this earth... what will matter is how many lives we changed.....what will matter is how we treated those that the world rejected.....what will matter is how much of ourselves we denied to give to others....in the end all that will matter is how much we lived obeying the commandments to Love our God with all our hearts, mind and soul and loving our neighbors as ourselves. So the most important question to answer is "What will people say when you are gone?"

Allow me to share a poem I found in the book:

                                      SINCE I HAVE MY LIFE BEFORE ME
                                               by Brooke Bronkowski
I'll live my life to the fullest. I'll be happy. I'll brighten up. I will be more joyful that I have ever been. I will be kind to others . I will loosen up. I will tell others about Christ. I will go on adventures and change the world. I will be bold and not change who I really am. I will have no troubles but instead help others with their troubles. 
You see, I will be one of those people who live to be history makers at a young age. Oh, I will have moments, good and bad, but I will wipe away the bad and only remember the good. In fact that's all I remember, just good moments, nothing in between, just living my life to the fullest. I will be one of those people who go somewhere with a mission, an awesome plan, a world-changing plan, and nothing will hold back. I'll set an example for others, I will pray for direction.
I have my life before me. I will give others the joy I have and God will give me more joy. I will do everything God tells me to do. I will follow the footsteps of God. I will do my best.

The girl who wrote this died when she was 14 years old and during her funeral, nearly 15000 people attended it and atleast 200 students gave their lives to Christ that day. She lived the kind of life that all of us are meant to live. Always remembering that our lives are fragile and the only day that matters is today and the only thing that matters today is living our lives for Christ and not ourselves, to live beyond ourselves and live for what is eternal.
So what will people say about you when you are gone?