My mother was at a seminar recently where she met a young girl who ended up opening up to her on relationships and she was complaining how her new boyfriend is "boring" because he has not asked to have sex with her for the 7 months they have been dating. Shocked? no? yes? I was, at least now I am , I know a few years back I would have shared her sentiments.
I understand we live in a fallen world where being a virgin as a girl is no longer a good thing but something you should be ashamed of....I am not writing this to condemn anyone but to enable ladies to see things differently and I do not claim to be innocent or blameless, I claim to be saved by God's grace from a mess I had created by getting myself caught up in the wrong relationships...I am a really bad girl saved by a really good God.
In God's word ladies are instructed to NOT awaken love until its time...and I believe nothing written in the bible is written in vain because what happens when we awaken love before its time...we create soul ties with men who are not meant for us that is why we stick to wrong relationships, abusive relationships, it leads to a lot of heartache and pain just because of something that only seemed to be physical and we shared a moment that was meant to be shared in marriage with a random man. Well you may say the guy is not random, you two are in love, engaged..etc but fact remains he is NOT your husband.
We come up with all sorts of excuses for men and claim that he is good, he treats you right, he is "religious" but every now and then you two have sex....any man who is okay with having sex with you before marriage is not for you, He is not God's best for you....how can a God who wants us to stay pure in our singleness want you to be with someone who does not protect that purity?
We claim we can change men that is why so many Christian/saved girls are trying to make relationships work with guys who are not saved, they keep dragging them to church every Sunday hoping to change them ignoring God's word which says that you should not be unequally yoked and make up our own rules because we are afraid of ending up alone.
I believe God has a different plan for women , A woman is a jewel, so precious, so rare...she should be treated with dignity but how do we expect to be treated with dignity when we give every guy husband benefits...we are sleeping in his bed every weekend, cooking, cleaning and when he gets tired and dumps us we curse and call him a dog when all along we are the ones who gave it up for just a pair of legs and some muscle not realizing how valuable we are.
I believe when women will start seeing themselves through God's eyes that is when things will change because in His eyes we are precious, loved, smart, beautiful, talented, favored....in a way that we cannot even imagine but over and over again we lose sight of this and end up desperate for any man who will pay attention to us forgetting the only man who deserves that desperation died on the cross for us because He loved us so much.
Until when women will go back to their first love (not your first boyfriend), I mean Christ who first loved us even before we were formed in our mother's womb. The man who literally gave up everything for you, the one who sees you crying every night because you gave your heart to the wrong man, the one who holds your hand when you realized you got pregnant and the man responsible denied it, the man who will NEVER leave you nor forsake you. Until we fall in love with Christ first we will continue "giving it up" for every guy who calls us beautiful or buys us lunch or takes us on an expensive trip.
My desire is for women to realize that the man who God desires for you to be with will respect your purity and will protect it until he calls you his wife. I urge you to wait on God's timing for Him to reveal that man to you but until He does, enjoy life, build yourself, read more, learn how to cook, have fun with your girlfriends and never forget your heart first belongs to Christ before anyone else.
With lots of love
Enid Nzisa
