5 REASONS YOU SHOULD NOT BE WITH THAT MAN

Women are very relational, they say everything else can go wrong in our lives but if our relationships are okay then we are okay. This quality is what makes most women end up settling for a man that is not God's best for them.... I have seen countless of women in relationships where they know that man is not for them but they stick around because of the fear of being alone. (I have been there too)
You see once you make the decision to tie yourself to a man that God has not planned for you then it alters your destiny...the best you can be is mediocre...every woman deserves to live an extraordinary life meaning you have to be connected to an extraordinary man who is God's best for you.

I hope that after reading this you will reflect on the relationship you are in now/ where you have been/where you are going and analyse if that man is really God's best for you......



1. He is having  sex with you before marriage

You say you are with a God- fearing man, yet that man still has sex with you before he makes you his wife. So what god is that man fearing? If it is the one true God...then that man will fear doing the very things that God is against.......that man will know it is a sin to defile his body and your body.....
A God fearing man is not a man who goes to church every Sunday, who says he believes in God or who can quote scripture.....
A God fearing man is a man who lives the word of God....you will see the fruits he bears.....you will see that he protects your purity and will make you his wife before he can lay with you.....

2. He abuses you (physically and emotionally)

Lets start with the emotional abuse....he always has something negative to say about you....he is always putting you down ......he makes you feel inferior and may even use curse words on you.......
You see..... God describes you as more precious than a ruby, He calls you beautiful,...He looked at His creation and saw it was good.....you see He took time to make you...He already had great plans for you even when you were in the womb....
If this is how your Maker describes you....and it is because He loves you....then why do you believe  a man who says he loves you and yet abuses you and labels you as something less than what your creator says you are...
A man who loves you will praise you, he will make you feel loved and wanted...he will describe you and label you the same way God does...He will reflect that kind of love...
Which goes without saying that he will not abuse you physically either......

3. He pushes you further from Christ

Ever since you two got together you cannot remember the last time you had quite time with God....the last time you read His word or even the last time you attended church...
No relationship should take the place of God in your life.....
You see the minute you let that relationship push you away from Christ then you will idolize it and expect the man to be your god...expecting him to fill the void that only God can fill....
A man who is for you will always point you to Christ...that relationship will make you get closer to Christ not substitute Him...


4. He does not take  initiative 

Lets say you are the one who approached him and asked him out on a date and eventually you pushed him into being your boyfriend.....
Women nowadays are encouraged to go after the guy...in the tabloids...in the Hollywood movies....
Women are encouraged to take the lead in relationships..... this destroys the order that God put in place...
You see the man was created to lead the woman......so what happens when the woman is doing the leading? the woman will end up frustrated because she will be the one working to sustain the relationship while the man takes the back seat.....
A real man takes initiative...he will pursue you...he is not okay with being pursued.....no matter how 'shy' he is......

5. He has no personal relationship with Christ

You see God instructs a man to love his wife just like Christ loved the church...this is the kind of love that is willing to die for you....what a task!
You see for a man to understand how to love you to that extent he has to be connected to the author of love who is Christ.....and you my dear deserve that kind of a man whose love reflects that of Christ...


There are many other things to look out for in a man to be able to see if he is God's best for you....

Thing is if you know in your heart that you have settled for someone who is less than who God has intended for you..I pray that you get the courage to end it and decide to wait on God...to wait on God to reveal that man in His own timing...
I will not lie that it will be easy but I promise it will be worth it because God always exceeds our expectations beyond what we can ever think or imagine.....

LESSONS FROM 2015

I wanted to write this post before 2015 ended but I guess I got caught up in the festivities.....Here are a few lessons I learned in 2015 that for me will set the foundation for me in 2016...


On My Christian Walk.....

It was the year where my faith was tested...from praying for a job and seeing nothing happen ...to being reminded that Christ is my sole provider..not a job..nothing else but Him....
It is the year where I was convicted about sharing Christ every opportunity that I get because time is running out and my key mission on this earth as a Christian is to preach Christ with my words and actions...there were days I couldn't get the courage to share Christ but He gave me other chances for me to step up....you see, I learned that if I deny Him before men,,,He will deny me in front of the Father..I shouldn't just have Him in my heart but share Him out and win more souls for Him...the calling is bigger than me and it will mean me losing my life for the sake of the gospel...

On family...

It was the year I was taught on honoring my mother more....learning to speak her love language which is acts of service despite me not wanting to at times....you see my blessings lie with her...she is my first ministry before I go out to the world..she must see Christ in me....my family is the first ministry and I learned to listen to God on how to treat my family...
I finally forgave my relatives after 15 years of holding on to a grudge that I never knew I had until God showed me....I learned to love..

On love.....

It was the year I must say I grew in love with my best friend....I got to know him better and to grow in friendship with him....God convicted me of the many times I would see the mistakes in him instead of perfecting the love I have for him....It is the year I learned what it means to love deliberately even when the emotions go...to love unconditionally.....


On friendships.....

It was the year that God convicted me of being more of a taker than a giver in my friendships....It was the year where I learned how to be considerate of others and sincerely love others...
It was the year that God taught me to go on my knees for my friends.....
It was the year that God showed me who to keep in my life and who to let go without being bitter...
It was the year that I learned I have to be deliberate to make the friendships I have work and give more...

On my career...

It was the year that God opened unexpected doors for me, that led me to see where my passion really lies...
At the beginning of 2015 I felt like I did not have the necessary skills and capability to achieve all that I wanted to achieve but through the opportunities that God opened for me....He showed me that I am more than capable and I am more than able....
I got to meet amazing mentors in my line of work who have mentored me to where I am now...
For the first time since I started working I had a clear vision of where I want to be in the next 5 years....

On physical fitness...

I started the year on a high note..I would eat drink sleep exercises....then my time became limited and I had to cut down on the training...then came asthma and I had to really cut down...
I learned that working out is 20% and eating is 80%...I learned to watch my diet ...despite falling off the wagon a few times.....
It takes a lot of discipline to achieve the goals that you have in terms of fitness...ALOT of discipline...


On Finances......

It was the year where I got to earn more than I did and spent more than I should have....despite me getting an accountability partner and trying...I always made the wrong choices with my finances...
I learned it takes more than wishing and praying for me to get to where I want to be financially meaning I will have to be more disciplined and invest in learning about financial management...
If I am not faithful with the little then how can I expect God to bless me with more?