GUEST BLOG POST: Letter to my mother

Finally I got a very good friend of mine to post on the blog, Louisa has a way with words that not many have and it has made her in the recent past win some goodies....which she did not share with me  (sigh) .ooh well just to show that I have forgiven her, I posted this for you guys:

P.S: The picture shows how she was at 6 months..lol...seriously

Mummy,

Hi! How are you doing today? I pray that you are fine!
Mom, I'd like to tell you something, and this may take a while, so seat back, relax and read...
I thought of all the words to describe you but I couldnt actually get any. Neither can I describe the feeling! But we are from way back!!

Oh mom, I can vividly narrate the stories of the day I was born, because you let me know of the tiniest of details. How you were only two women in the ward, anxiously awaiting for their babies on a Sunday morning. How you had even named me months before, and made sure my big brother knew "weeza" was on the way. It tickles me how you laugh when you tell me that I kicked so hard, you even knew and decided I was the final one. Mom, you amaze me!! How you kept that newspaper of the day I was born, to date! I am truly special to you.

You first noticed I was crying more than usual, and as usual mother's instict was right. You rushed me to Gertrudes Hospital as soon as you could. I was only a baby who couldnt speak for myself yet, but you understood my language. I know all this too well because I am constantly in contact with you, catching up on all the days, even those before you knew me. Anyway, the problem was serious, I had to go under the knife, but you were with me all through till I recovered and was back home! Thank you for being there, and for understanding me...

You introduced me to God at a young and tender age. We would always go to church, and I remember racing with my brother towards you after Sunday school, to show you how I'd colored a Bible character. You would always say it was beautiful, I appreciate the encouragement I got from you. Not only would we race for that, we would have olympics daily when you got home from work! Mind you this olympics included the family cats! We would run to hug and welcome you, as well as check the paper bags for any goodies you had brought. And after you had relaxed, you would let me play with your hair as you watched "Neighbours", I would make matutas till they gradually transformed into 'lines' commonly known as cornrows. Thank you for letting me use you for my practice.

How can I forget the days I had a tooth removed!! So dramatic I tell you. Running to the chicken house, dodging all of you! That was funny! But even after the pain (I only cried the first time by the way), I was excited, because I knew a tooth fairy would visit over night! The way you made us believe in a tooth fairy- magical! The next day I'd be feeling like Moi (yes, Moi was the richest man in the world to me that time), having 5 shillings with me. I would even care to smile with the "mapengo", cause I felt like a million bucks, affording one bob lollipops! I had fun! I wish I could still have a tooth removed, and run back to you as my well known fairy!

I remember my first day of school! We were only five, and we would learn in an old car, and how I had cried for you when you left! How I couldnt look back at you leaving, because it was so painful for me to watch my mother leave. I still cant bare watching you leave even for a week, you know me!
Its funny how you say I was a chatterbox! Yet you still say I was very hilarious! How would I have made you laugh if I wasnt talking? We laughed today about how when I was 3, I run screaming "SIMBA", only for people to come out and find a donkey innocently grazing at the compound! Am glad you found me funny. Thank you for sharing laughter with me..

How about the days there was no electricity at night? Those were fun! You would teach us hymns, and we would sing along all night long! Huh! I remember you taught me to have so much faith! Telling us to sing louder to "There is Power" because if we did the lights would be back! My!! We sang and it always worked, even if it was hours later!
The days we would sit at the dining to eat, feels like a century ago. Waah, those were torturous! Especially when we were having chapati! Do you recall how one day I perfectly squeezed a chapati in my fist, and put my hand behind my back? Then I gladly showed you my empty plate, as I sign that I had finished eating! But poor me, my brother decided to snitch and you had to sternly return me back to the table to finish. Am sorry for having played games on you...

Birthdays! Cant forget these, they happen every year! You made these special, you still do...
Mom, you bought us gifts once in a while, we felt loved. The day you bought us bicycles!! That still is in my top 10 countdown of favourite days ever! You surprised us! Nothing as special as a surprise from a loved one. I remember how you all laughed at me when I was heading for the gate at high speed, and shouting "MOM! BRAKES!" I ended up crushing at the gate! Anyway, I bring this up just to remind you that I trusted in you and you were and still are my 911.

Primary school days, oh my, these were epic! I think this was the only time I got a thrashing from you! But I applaud you for the discipline, because it is from it that I am the person I am now. Bringing you homework to sign, and you had to counter check it! While you were checking I would steal glances at the TV and thats when you would hit me with a biro on my head to get my concentration and attention. That would really irritate me by the way, I would sometimes feel like you were against my happiness; but now I can only say I appreciate that- for you taught me to listen.
I remember telling you how other kids in my class commented on how tiny I was and even asked if I was sick. How some would make fun. I still remember the face you made, and how disgusted you were at their remarks especially on the "sick" bit; but as usual you always found a way to make this tiny girl happy! School was school and those were bad days- but we faced them together, thats all that matters. You made me appreciate myself.
I remember how gently you taught me about sexuality, and told me to be careful about every decision I made regarding this. You basically outlined what was right and wrong. Not many people get to talk to their parents about sex, so I take that as a privilege. You handled that well mama...

I cant forget when you had a transfer to Eldama Ravine. I was in class 8, but I would cry when you were leaving. We would escort you to the stage, and I would be sobbing on our way. You would be only gone for a week, but life without you those weeks wouldnt be the same. I would always think of Friday, and wait for you to arrive back home. The weekends were so short then! That was one tough year, but it made me stronger and I learnt to appreciate the time I spend with you much more.
Time passed and I had to leave for high school, I still remember the shopping you did, ok I admit I only remember the chocolate, crisps and juice... my favorite snacks! You always know what's my favourite, thank you for being keen on me. We exchanged lots of letters those four years, making me laugh at how you signed them off- "reporting for... love, Mom". Visiting days were awesome! You always made sure you cooked sumptuous meals, and had my cousins visit as well. I treasure those days, I treasure you.. Talking of cooking, I just have to mention how great a cook you are! Pilau, biriani, mahamri, anything just name it- you have perfected the art of culinary skills! I am more than happy to be your student. I have learned so much from you, and learning never stops you know!

So time flew, and it was time to join campus! The first day of KU, you spent all day with me. I queued up, and let you sit and wait. It took the whole day, but you were patient. I always acknowledge patience as a virtue. I remember calling you crying on September 15th 2010 (am such a cry baby, aint I?), mind you I was in second year, but still when things went wrong I was never afraid to call you and run back to you crying. Then another night I called you again, this time not in tears but in total disappointment. In the middle of the night, was it 2 or 3am? I remember vaguely. Sorry I scared you at that hour, but thank you for not turning me down or getting frustrated with me. You listened and advised accordingly... because to you I am still your child, regardless of my age.

2013 December, when campus "honeymoon" was finally over, you supported me all through! You were proud of me, and I know you still are proud of me. You may not know but I shed a tear when I saw you carrying that pizza and black forest, smiling and writing that card hurriedly; congratulating me on my graduation! I shed a tear because regardless of how grumpy I was that day, you tolerated me and still made me feel special. God knows how that graduation overwhelmed me, and used you to make it a better day!

Mom, I may have fallen at times, but you still have that soft spot for me. I am sorry for times I may have angered you- I didnt mean to and it was never my intention. Forgive me. Am sorry at times I may have disappointed you, but you still stick with me.
I said I had alot to say, oh well, thats what I wanted to say and many more. It was my aim to remind you of all the days, because you have been with me all the days of my life. Thank you for all the virtues you have instilled in me, for I know I am a better woman because of what you have taught me.

Thank you for your undying love, firm discipline, constant support, hearty laughter, pat on the back, chest to cry on and shoulder to lean on. Thank you for always making me laugh, when you break into dance, especially when you do MJ moves! Oh, and when you make the "adam lambert" face, so funny! I will always have precious times with you, by your side, and my prayer is that God will reward you for all you have done, not only for me but also to others you have touched with ripples of your kindness.

I am living a happy life because you are in it! Thank you for accepting who I am, and loving me the way I am. I treasure you Mom and more than anything on/in this world I LOVE you!

Lots of love,
Louisa
(always and forever mummy's girl)

Proverbs 31

GUEST BLOG POST: JOY

This post was written by a close friend of mine, when I read it I got teary-eyed because I was amazed by what God is doing in her life and she can actually say this:

p.s she has a crush on sponge bob

I'd earlier promised to drop a guest post on this blog. But how I forgot and dismissed it I dont know. All I know is that I am ready to write now.
I am writing this at a bank. And guess  what, its "back-to-school" so I have all the time to write...
My ticket says 57 more customers ahead of me, oh boy...
The bank is full, its quite stuffy in here. In the background is a crying baby, and also the full blasts of matatus passing by.
Apparently, the average waiting time for me is one hour, twelve minutes and thirteen seconds. I sit down patiently like the rest waiting for my turn. After all patience is a virtue!

Enough about the bank! Today I woke up feeling great! You know at times you hear the alarm and you want to knock it down, cursing why the night was so short!! But today, I actually had a different feeling all together. Oh, I forgot to let you know that I dont need my alarm to go off to wake up. Anyway, as I was saying, this morning I woke up basking in glory and joy. Regardless of any situation I may be going through, there was a deeper feeling from within. More of overwhelming happiness and radiance, I cant explain it but I knew the day would be great. So let me share with you my joy for the day, by letting you know that in everything you do, allow God to be your priority and all will be well. Spirituality and happiness are things I may find hard to explain, but I know being content with the Lord is definately related to my happiness. And in my state of happiness and comfort, I wont forget to acknowledge the Lord, for it is His doing.

Today, I want to appreciate my great and supporting family, for their undying love and support; and my friends who automatically become my family. Sometimes life gets a little rough, and all we need is a bit of joy in our lives, talking about it too doesnt bring any harm!
This to all the great days ahead of us...

Psalm 118:24  This is the day the LORD has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it.

Proverbs 15:13 A happy heart makes the face cheerful, but heartache crushes the spirit.

Ladies: Through His eyes

Through the media's eyes we are NOT meant to  be anything above size 6, we are meant to be light skinned (well, until Lupita brought in the new light), tall, our skin is meant to be flawless, our teeth to glitter like we walk around with a mirror in our mouths to reflect the sun,...

We chase down men who we think are the finest things in town, we then sell ourselves short in order to keep him interested, we compromise, we stick to him and label ourselves as "a ride or die chick" even when he is busy lifting every skirt in town, even when he treats you like a doormat and a punching bag.

We are busy trying to emulate the so called IT-GIRLS because  that's what the world calls sexy, so we dress like them and end up looking like we had been running away from a lion trying to reap our clothes off, we end up partying like them and sleeping around with every muscle filled idiot who will tell us that we are hot because we drop it like its hot.

The enemy has us so deceived that we no longer see ourselves through God's eyes...instead we have found our identity from the world which leaves us broken, desperate and lost.

I just want to remind us to look at ourselves through His eyes...because through His eyes you are:

Beautiful....exactly the way you are...you are breathtaking...because He calculated every part of you before He put you together...your eyes, nose, hips, lips, your complexion...He saw you and He was pleased. 

A precious jewel....so you are meant to be  pursued and handled with care...a diamond does not lose its value because the person wanting to buy it cannot afford it...its something priceless that the owner keeps it safe and protected.

You are a daughter of a KING, so you are a princess...anyone who wants to have you must first go through the king..you are precious to Him such that if you let Him keep your heart He will allow the right man to have it at the right time.

Amazing, talented, smart, creative... you can achieve things that are beyond your wildest dreams...

Unique, loved, worth more than what people have labelled you....

Remember ladies....A man loved you so much that He died for you...so stop chasing down someone who does not want you, stop trying to emulate some other chick because the world calls her sexy...just be you.., stop struggling being in unhealthy relationships and let God write your love story....stop getting your identity from the world and get it from Christ....

See yourself THROUGH HIS EYES.

LOVE SUCKS!

" Love sucks!" A statement I have heard more than I have heard the word pizza coming out of the mouth of this generation. I was particularly reminded of this statement when watching one of the famous match making shows in Kenya...when a girl went on and on to explain why love sucks!.
I have to admit I have uttered the same words sometime back....

Let me start with the definitions: (I am just googling at this point)

Love: a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person.

Suck: to draw (water, moisture, air, etc.) by or as if by suction: Plants suck moisture from the earth. The pump sucked water from the basement.


From that  I can actually say that love seems to remove something from us and leave us empty, dissapointed, desperate, angry, hurt....basically with every feeling that seems to draw the life out of us. Its ironic how a tender, passionate affection for someone can remove the life out of us!

Whats my point? 

I am left to wonder why would God place this thing called LOVE as the one thing that covers over all sins, the one that remains above hope and peace, why would He say that He IS LOVE?

1 Peter 4:8 :Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins.

1 John 4:8 : Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love.

Colossians 3:14: And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony.

I believe the meaning was distorted at one point in time when we as mankind fell...when we decided we knew better and thought it was something we would handle. We got it confused with the gooey feelings, the passion, the rush of blood in our veins....that's why when all these feelings fade away especially in a love affair, one party is dumped and given the common statements "Its not you, its me", " I just don't feel the way I used to" .....

I heard a song that says " Love is not a place where we can come and go as we please, its a home where we are meant to stay, lock ourselves up and throw the keys." So according to this song its not something that should  fade away....meaning..its not a feeling. 

Then what is it?
Beats me! But to be honest I think its a choice that we make everyday to put other people before ourselves, its a decision you make to commit to someone even when the gooey feelings fade away, its a choice we make daily to die to ourselves and to live for a greater good, its a choice that you make that you'd rather die than let your friend die.

John 15:13 : Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends.

1 John 4:19 : We love because he first loved us.

What makes me think this way?
God is the author of LOVE, He is the one who started it all... by creating us in His image and giving us His identity and calling us His own, He is the one who loves us so much that even in our disobedience He went ahead and gave up his ONE AND ONLY son to die on the cross for our sins when He was blameless!

What makes us think we can master this thing called love if we do not learn about it from the author?, its like a mobile phone trying to become a mobile phone without it being programmed to be one.  What makes us think we are capable of showing true love to someone when we do not allow God to teach us, when we do not spend time reading His word and learning, when we do not talk to Him and let Him direct us?

Am afraid ladies and gentlemen that if we never give God the number one place in our hearts and let Him show us what true love is....then we shall forever remain to say.."Love Sucks!"

1 Corinthians 13:1-13 : If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give away all I have, and if I deliver up my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing. Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful;

MOTHER'S INSTINCTS

Of late I have had this strange ..okay not strange..unusual interest on how mothers interact with their children...I think my maternal instincts just kicked in. I get myself gazing every morning at mothers carrying their kids to school on their backs just to avoid the kid getting mud in this rainy season. My salonist the other  day shared with me how a mother can never tell her child that she does not have when the child asks for something especially food, (as if the son heard he ran into the salon and kept telling the mom " I want cake" after he was given the ten shillings he went like " Is there tea?" the mother just nodded) and yes...that's a mother and her child. She is always prepared, planning ahead for her children, she would rather starve than let her kid go hungry and just recently in the news where a mother died while protecting her baby from gun shots...wow! what kind of love is this!!
I especially love how most  Kenyan mothers discipline their kids...the rod is never spared...we are always making fun at home how our neighbor's kid is always waking up crying because he doesn't want to go to school and the drama that goes on between him and his mother until he finally goes to school...and when he gets back when he is forced to do his homework.
Mothers discipline their kids out of love and no matter how much a child may get their mother mad the mother wouldn't hesitate to give their lives for them.

They are simply God's angels on earth....

Anyway this is not a post for mothers...I will save that for another day but my point is we can compare the relationship between mothers and their kids with us and God. He loves us unconditionally! He corrects us out of love and He is protective over us.

Picture it this way...when a child is crying to have sugar and the mother refuses...the child does not get the reasoning behind it which is the mother is protecting the child from a lot of diseases....the same way...we  at times want something so much in a way when we do not get it we get depressed, we even at times give up at that point we never understand the logic behind it, I mean you prayed for that thing, you worked hard to get it...but we never stop for a second and think at times its usually God protecting us from things we thought we wanted which would have caused us a lot of heartache in the end

Jeremiah 29:11: For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.

Jeremiah 1: 5: Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, and before you were born I consecrated you; I appointed you a prophet to the nations.”

Also picture this...a kid is being cautioned by the mum not to touch a burning candle but they go ahead and do it and get burned. The mother's first response is to help the child then scold later or for our Kenyan mothers do both at the same time (I know my mum would). The same way most of the situations we get ourselves into that may cause heartaches or other consequences are usually a result of our disobedience to God's word...but the minute you ask for His help and His leading  He is always ready to help and put together the broken pieces but He will correct you in love.

2 Timothy 3:16:All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness,

Prov 29:15:The rod and reproof give wisdom, but a child left to himself brings shame to his mother.

The third scenario.... a child needs something to eat or for school or for whatever viable reason and goes to the mother...the mother always does her best according to her ability to provide she would climb the highest mountain to get it..... the same way God tells us ask and you shall receive...seek me and you will find me....knock and the door will be opened to you...most of the time we lack because we do not ask...God unlike mothers can do the impossible for you, so dare to dream big ..dare to ask Him to use you  to do great things on this earth and by faith you will be amazed by what your life will turn out to be.

Last scenario.....the mother who died protecting her child from gun shots....proving a mother's love will make her give her life for her child. A mother protects her child with her life, she will wrestle a tiger if she has to....now imagine what your Father in Heaven would do for you. He gave His ONE AND ONLY son to die on the cross for your sins so would never know how much it cost...He took your place on the cross...how amazing is that???

 

 Romans 5:8:    But God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us

John 3:16:For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.

God loves you unconditionally! His love is the ONE thing in your life that will never be taken away from you! He wants the best for you...He is NOT mad at you but MAD ABOUT YOU. Go through this day and the rest of your days knowing that.....

BIRTHDAY BLUES

You know how when you are younger you would imagine that by the time you are in your twenties you would have a lot going for you and maybe you will have it all together?
Well..I did I would dream of how I would have my own house, car and I would have bought my mama(I call her mama wanje) a house...

Funny how now.... one of the things I want to achieve before my birthday is to get abs (Don't give me that look,,,I find them hot)..so am working on that as even as I type this my body is sore and am avoiding any jokes today so as to avoid laughing and stretching the upcoming abs..
I asked my mum the other day what she was doing at the age I am almost turning (don't worry I will reveal it in the end) and she told me she was  married and expecting my big brother...alas!! Considering I am writing letters to my unknown future husband ( HERE)  shows that I have no prospects at the moment and hence no upcoming mini me...
I still do not know how to swim...but I can bath myself so I believe I have come a long way..
I no longer cry and call mama wanje when someone steps on my toes...okay maybe I still do but now its me telling mama how my day was and it does not involve her scolding the person who hurt me but then again what am I saying! She still does that...(so Ignore this paragraph)
I still laugh at people who fall down dramatically...in my defense..I giggle...kinda...
I still love the outdoors but at least now I do not go back home with dirty clothes and looking guilty...wait..I do when I hike and get home late after forgetting to buy something I was sent...(ignore this paragraph too)
I still pick on my brother and then get mad at him when he gets back at me...I used to pick on him and he would hit me and I would cry all day till mama wanje gets back home then he would get thrashed!...Waah! at this rate am doubting if I have really grown up..hahaha! (OUCH!)
I do not own a car yet, I still live with mama wanje and as far as buying her a house...its still a future plan...
Come to think of it..I do not think I have changed that much (I don't know if that is a good thing or not)

But for the 23 years I have lived one thing is evident...

God's grace in my life...He has remained faithful when I rebelled against Him....He has shown me favor over and over again...He has opened doors for me that I had never thought of....He has blessed my family abundantly....He has given me amazing friends....He has restored my health over and over again...Most importantly... He saved me and He called me His own...He chose me and set me aside...He called me by my name and rescued me from death and substituted me with His son Jesus Christ on the cross so that I wouldn't know how much it cost....and yet again He loves me UNCONDITIONALLY!  even when I fail time and time again.
In short I have seen God as My healer, My friend, My comfort, My defender, My strength, My Father and My savior for the 23 years I have lived and I thank Him that I am about to see another great year and its a great comfort to know the Maker of the universe has my world in His hands...so even though I have not yet accomplished my goals I can find rest in the fact that He said:

Deut 31:8:

It is the Lord who goes before you. He will be with you; He will not leave you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed.”

Jeremiah 29:11:For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.

P.S I am turning 24 on 5th March

DEAR FUTURE HUSBAND

I thought I was good at letter writing until, I sat down and tried to write this to you. Maybe I have met you, Maybe we pass by each other everyday, Maybe you don't even know that I exist, Maybe you will read this, Maybe I will be the one to show you a letter a wrote to you before I met you.

You might be in Timbuktu  volunteering in a medical camp or spreading the gospel...I hope both. You may be in the city running to close a deal, or you may be down on your knees praying, you may be in the gym (smh) or nibbling on some chicken wings.

Whatever you are doing or where you are I would like to say this to you:

I haven't figured out every detail of our wedding (contrary to what people say about girls) BUT I have one thing figured out....fried chicken will be part of the menu....it just has to be!

I am very forgetful (I know you will figure this out earlier when I will forget to pick up something you wanted...so I apologize in advance) BUT you do not have to worry about me forgetting my vows...

I can get a bit crazy sometimes and just decide to break dance in the streets...so maybe you will be marrying a Psycho...I am kidding...maybe...perhaps...

My idea of a romantic getaway is being in the wild, where  its just you, me and nature and we can recreate the garden of Eden, without the snake and the leaves Adam and Eve used to cover themselves up with (If you know what I mean).

I hope you have a big appetite because I am currently taking home culinary classes from your future mother-in-law, and I am working on creating the "ENID sandwich" which am hoping will be a hit and I will come up with a better name for it...hey! maybe you will help me come up with the name , so now you already have an idea of what kind of snack will be packed for you.

So a lot of guys have already misspelled my name: I have been called Edin, Enith, Elid, Emid...waaah! If I had a dollar for every one of them you'd be marrying Oprah. So am hoping you get it right the first time I tell you or you already did... and they have used all kind of pick up lines the best one being " Hey Enid, what do you need?...me?"..So hope you will make me laugh the first time you say hi, say something cheesy or simply say Hi....but be creative, try get a smile from me.

I cannot take a picture doing the duck face...I do not know how this piece of information may be of importance to you, but just thought of putting it out there.

I still love cartoons, so I hope you are a bit goofy..and we can act like kids when around each other and just laugh...

I cry when watching romantic comedies, no matter how many times I watch them...but I will always pretend am yawning then rub my eyes...so feel free to let me lie on your chest when watching them and let me "yawn"

I LOVE my family...they mean the world to me...and am sure you will fit right in!!.

Most importantly...

I believe God is preparing me for you, as He is leading and guiding me to resemble Him...because in Him I have come to know what true love means...and am learning to resemble the Proverbs 31 woman. Who will make you and our kids look forward to coming home everyday because I will make our house a home. I will defend our kids with my life..and praying that God shows me how to submit to you as you submit to Him and be your helper.

I will always cover our home with prayers, I will always strive to be your biggest fan and correct you in a gentle way, I will let you lead our home because I know that you will be leading us with the wisdom from above, I will be open to try new things with you, I will keep my body in check so that we will be able to do the morning jog together when we are 60(among other things *wink). We will fight, make up, laugh, cry, get weary but may we always put God at the center of our marriage. You will not have to worry about me cheating because for you I have waited.....

Love,

Future wifey.