In pursuit of the ONE

A while back I asked a few ladies what they look for in a man, I got an overwhelming response. Then I asked them what they would bring to a relationship when they meet this man and well.....lets just say I got the first response after I had eaten lunch, read a newspaper and watched a movie....(okay, I might have exaggerated) but all in all that question made them stop and think before they answered.

Hollywood has painted this picture in our minds of the "one"...you know the one who when you meet there is always a background song..the one who makes your belly tingle...the one you want to ride off into the sunset with....
We spend so much time in pursuit of the "one" we forget we should be working on becoming the "one"....
Disclaimer: I do not  believe there is that one person in the world for someone...so there is no such thing as the one....otherwise we would miss out if that one person ends up marrying someone else's the one...(stay with me now)

As human beings we are programmed to always look out for ourselves and this one of the reasons why we tend to focus so much on how someone else can benefit us and rarely look at how we can benefit others.

Just to take a few responses I got when I asked about qualities to look at.:
Example 1:He must be a man after God's heart...Question: Are you a woman after God's heart?..what makes you think that kind of man would be attracted to a woman who halfheartedly follows Christ?
Example 2: He must challenge me intellectually.....when was the last time you picked up a book? learned something new? are you as stimulating as well?
Example 3: He should be hardworking......sis, do you work hard at your job? in school? do you go all out to achieve your goals?

I could go on and on with the examples, point is.....during your single hood you should strive on becoming the "one"...cultivate the qualities that you think would make a good spouse...develop your character...grow spiritually.....pick up a book.....have fun.....discover yourself and learn ways on improving yourself instead of actively looking for the one because you will miss out on that person because simply you will have nothing to bring to the relationship.