WHY I AM WAITING TO KISS MY FIANCE ON THE WEDDING DAY

I have been contemplating on writing this post for the longest time now....I thought of writing it when we were boyfriend and girlfriend..then thought I will get the courage to write it when we get engaged and I am still fearful..thinking I should write it after we cross the 'finish line'........but after we sat down and watched our engagement video...I was convinced it is never too soon to share this.....

One of the things that happened when we got engaged was the crowd around us shouting...'kiss her!' and then we sat down down to watch the video and saw the people's disappointment when my fiance didn't kiss me....lol...we laughed....why?


So, he asked me to be his girlfriend on a Friday then we sat down  the following Sunday over lunch and talked about boundaries....he went first and the first thing he told me was....."As much as I want to kiss you, I will wait until I marry you"....he didn't even know that is exactly what I asked God for....a man who would wait to kiss me when I am his wife.....so I agreed and it was sealed among other boundaries (which I will share in another post)........

Point to note....I had never been in this kind of relationship before and I had to walk away from another relationship and decide to take one year off the dating scene to get closer to God (again, this I will share later)......... so why did we decide on this? why did I personally want this?

1. To walk in purity
You see a whole forest can be burned down with a fire that started with a spark.....same thing you can say its just a kiss...forgetting its the spark that will light that fire....
So many of us like to push the buttons to see how far is too far before we can 'sin'...forgetting whatever we do that leads to that sin is already sin in itself.....
I do not want to push those buttons I would rather avoid those buttons all together...
I know my triggers I really do not want to test them....

2. I want the kiss to mean something
For me, when the priest will finally tell him..."you may now kiss your bride"..I want it to mean exactly that..that he may NOW...not then..NOW...meaning he is now allowed to kiss me because I am his bride...I want it to have a bigger meaning than just the ceremonial thing that must be done in weddings...I want it to mean that NOW my body belongs to him,...that NOW he has the right to share that intimate kiss that shows passion with me....NOW that I will be his wife....

3. Develop communication
I used to think that one of the most romantic things a guy would do when we argue would be to shut me up with a kiss....only to realize that the issue that made you argue was never solved....
So for me, I have never been good at talking about issues...it makes me very uncomfortable...so us being in this position where he cannot shut me up with a kiss and I cannot shut him up with one too...has made me learn how to communicate and as a result I have developed emotionally as well...I no longer shrug issues or wish them away instead am forced to talk through them with him....I must say this has made us the best of friends...


I have other reasons too but I will share these 3 for now......and I just want to emphasize that....we have been able to wait this long and continue to wait only by the grace of God and the boundaries we have kept which one includes not kissing until we get married....because you cannot pray to the Holy Spirit to keep you pure yet place yourself in compromising situations...we both know that kissing will lead us to where we do not want to go now and so we agreed to wait....

Its also important for me to mention that, I used to be the girl who laughed at couples who would tell me they are waiting to kiss on their wedding day...it was absurd to me....how?....then I met Christ who renewed my mind completely and I desired exactly that...to honor Him in my relationship and then one year down the line He introduced me  to His best for me....now am the girl who gets laughed at...and I enjoy it..because it is for His sake that I am ridiculed and I pray for those who laugh to experience what I experienced....

So yes, God is gracious ...yes God can help you start over and honor Him in your relationship....Yes...its possible to wait untill marriage in this day and age.....so as we continue in this journey as we wait to kiss when we are pronounced husband and wife...we keep our trust in God because if it was just us..it would be impossible....to Him ALL Glory and Honor.