The journey to the altar part 1: Lesson on trust

We met on 18th December 2013, started dating on 8th August 2014, got engaged on 5th March 2016...oooh wait I skipped that we started taking the relationship seriously on 5th March 2014..... we got engaged on 5th March 2016, and got married on 4th March 2017. I am baffled how I remember all these dates, oh well....

The following events took place between 5th March 2016 and 4th March 2017(add dramatic music):

5th March 2016

It was a warm, sunny(duuh, you said warm) Saturday and it was a beautiful day for me to turn 25. Grey had convinced me to skip a class I was going for that day so that we would celebrate my birthday with our friends. Well, it turned out to be a warm, sunny (again, duuh)  Saturday for me to get engaged to the love of my life.

13th August 2016

The following weeks after this, we would talk endlessly about the wedding date and we set the date to 13th August 2016. We only had to continue waiting for only 6 months! ,we both shared the date with our families and guess what! They flipped! oh, our mothers flipped! So turns out one of the major reasons my mother gave him her blessings to ask my hand in marriage was because he assured her that the wedding would not be so soon. After alot of back and forth we both gave in because after all we still needed to plan for the introductory ceremony for our families to meet and the dowry ceremony and not forgetting we didn't have the money to pull off a wedding so soon.

So 13th August ended up being the date when our families first met! and NOT the wedding date but a beautiful day indeed

3rd December 2016

Our families loved each other and a second ceremony was to be planned. We were still determined to set the wedding date and agreed on 3rd December 2016. It looked like the ideal date as we would have the dowry ceremony in October then get married in December. It was a plan! The perfect plan! We even won a spot to go for a wedding event where we stood the chance to win a honeymoon package and other prizes. 

We went for the event and ended up winning a 2kg cake! A 2kg cake! who serves a 2kg cake at a wedding??? Funny thing is, we both left the event convinced it was a message from God telling us.."wait". 

3rd December 2016 ended up being the day we had our dowry ceremony and it was beautiful!!

4th March 2017

I remember crying on the phone talking to Grey telling him that I do not think God wants us to get married and he calmly told me that maybe it was about time we prayed for a wedding date. In all honesty, I had heard people say that they prayed for a wedding date and God answered but I always wondered if it was their own thinking or just a random number popping in their minds as they pray. I agreed to it and we prayed for a couple of days and God revealed the date 4th March. (I know, I know, it just has to happen to you for you to understand).

So the date was set, 4th of March! and the day was amazing! God came through beyond our expectations! 

The best thing about this day is, we cannot take any credit for anything that happened that day, God sent people to give towards the wedding, we got free stuff, discounts, 800 guests showed up with so many gifts! and we even won a free makeover for the wedding and a honeymoon package! It was a day that had us in tears seeing what the Lord had done.

So why do I share this, it is to encourage any one of you waiting on God for anything, for those who have given God a deadline for showing up in their situation. To tell you that His timing, His plans are P.E.R.F.E.C.T. It is never in vain to wait on God, if we had insisted on our dates, we would have struggled planning for the wedding, maybe even ended up in debt without knowing that God had already planned it out from the moment we met and all we had to do is to submit to His will and trust that He is more than able to do what we ask or to give us what we ask for.

Ephesians 3:20-21: Now to Him who is able to do infinitely more than all we ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us, to Him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever. Amen.…

SHOULD CHRISTIANS GET TATTOOS?

I have a small tattoo on my right arm...eerrrmm not arm,  on my wrist....and so I get people asking me this question..I usually go right ahead to explain how and why I got mine, just to remove the fascination behind it....

Why did I get it? We were working for an advertising company when I was in University with my best friend and we had to put up a display section for the products we were selling at some event. It happened that the guys who pitched tent next to us were tattoo guys, so we got an offer of exchanging our merchandise with a free tattoo so without hesitating, we chose a small tattoo so that it would take the shortest time possible before we are caught giving away free stuff....so it does not mean anything to me and I did not get emotional when I saw it after the artist was done....probably the only reason I would have been emotional is the pain....


So lets consider a few things before you get that tattoo...

1. Why do you want a tattoo?

1 Corinthians 10:31: So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.

As a Christian we are called to do everything for God's glory, to do EVERYTHING with the aim of pleasing Him even the smallest things such as getting a tattoo....

So consider if the reason you want it falls within/outside glorying Him...and no do not tell me you will get a cross or whatever to show that you are a Christian...we know that our hearts matter more to God....with this in mind....consider the next point...

2. Have you asked God that question?

Most of the times when we get ourselves asking such questions as whether we should do something or not...is because we doubt what we want to do is right....

If the Holy Spirit has convicted you about it, then do not do it.......hold on..before you tell me that there is no conviction...have you prayed about it? have you asked God what He thinks about it?

So probably the right person to ask first is Him...He has ALL the answers.....

3. Is it necessary?

1 Corinthians 10:23: All things are lawful,” but not all things are helpful. “All things are lawful,” but not all things build up.

I had always wanted to go back to get my tattoo improvised...and I remember sharing it with my then fiance and he went like " Do not do it"....of course this came as a shock to me because I was thinking..."who are you to tell me this?"..."It is not your body".....blablabla but I prayed about it and found peace with it...I keep thinking if I insisted and went ahead with my plan despite him saying no..what would have happened to our relationship? what message would I be passing to the man I was planning to get married to and submit to?

You see probably you getting your tattoo goes against your parents' advice or whoever's advice, so will it be of benefit? Yes is is permitted but will it build or destroy your relationships? Is it even going to build you as an individual? what value is it adding?

I got mine before I got saved and hence I did not consider these things as I was my own boss lol...and now I will say it is usually a great conversation starter with people who notice it..and it being a cross I got the chance to give a new reason behind it...that it reminds me of the sacrifice Christ made for me on the cross....God redeemed this for me....

So I cannot give a yes or no answer but I can ask you to consider the three things above and make the decision after....

WHEN GOD TELLS YOU TO LEAVE A RELATIONSHIP (Ladies listen up)

Over the past few months I have received a lot of messages from ladies who are struggling to get out of relationships they know they should not be in...mainly because the relationship does not glorify God. The common thing about all these ladies is that they know they deserve better and should not be there but they just cannot get themselves to call it quits....why? its scary starting over....the guy is a good guy even though he is not saved....

Well, for me I have been there and done that and made every excuse not to walk out of that relationship actually the same excuses the ladies make...so I totally understand EXACTLY what they are going through....So I chose to share four things you need to consider if you are playing with the thought of walking out of a relationship because you know it is not right in the eyes of God or if you ever find yourself in such a situation.....I hope this helps...


1. You are choosing the man over God

Yes, you are....it may not look like it but consider this.....God is telling you to walk out and trust Him to take care of things for you.....so what you are really telling Him when you choose NOT to walk away is...."God I do not think I can live without this person but I think I can live without you"......no? I am reading too much into this? Consider this.....

Philippians 3:7-8: But whatever were gains to me I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. 8 What is more, I consider everything a loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them garbage, that I may gain Christ

You see when you encounter Christ and truly surrender to Him nothing else comes before Him....you count everything else that you did before or valued before meeting Him a loss compared to what you have gained in Him....why? Because He is God! Meaning if He calls you to do something, you should not even think twice about it but immediately obey...IF and only IF He means so much to you.....

2. You are choosing a mediocre life

Thing is, God created you and knows your beginning till the day you will take your last breath....He has seen it all....and the plans He has for you are beyond your wildest dream.....but how do we get to tap into them? By living according to His will....His will you ask? His will is for you to be in a relationship that glorifies Him...that puts Him first.....

So choosing NOT to obey Him is choosing a life that is less incredible...less amazing....less every good and perfect plan He has for you....He has His best in store for you if you would only trust Him by stepping out on the wrong one, then you will see it.....

Luke 11:28: He replied, “Blessed rather are those who hear the word of God and obey it.”

3. A good guy without God is NO GOOD

 I have heard this and said this before: " He is a good guy" , "I can't leave him, he has not done me any wrong", " He is not like most guys", "He is sweet"...etc

Thing is ANYONE can be "good" or "nice"... all it takes is to do and say the right/appropriate things. The guy is nice, no one can refuse that BUT who is he accountable to? What moral compass does he use? What can he do or not do? What principles does he operate with?

If a man does not hold himself accountable to God, anything can go with him, ..lets take an example of the big S word SEX...so what will be acceptable to him? I am guessing he is okay having sex with you ....so  you are the only one he is sleeping with...so that is good enough for you because after all there are so many guys sleeping with a ton of girls.

But lets see a godly man, His standards are those that God has set...you see in matters of sex he understands until he is in a covenant with you, he has no right to know you in that way....

I do not mean that a godly man will be perfect, but he will be led by the Holy Spirit and he will understand how to love you as God intended for you to be loved and He will lead you closer to Christ not further away...

4.Do not believe the lies

You know the lies that go like ; You will never find a better guy, God will give you someone you are not attracted to, You will be left out, All the good men are taken..etc.
Do not believe them! Because they all come from the father of lies! Trying to keep you from experiencing the life in abundance that Christ provides....which includes a healthy and godly relationship.....

Consider this, God put the desire in your heart and He has a plan for it....so why would His plan go against His word...He tells you to be patient and trust Him, trust Him to present His best  for you in due time, to rest in Him and let Him write your love story.....



Lastly I just want to make a prayer for you:

Dear God,
 I commit every single lady struggling to get out of a relationship that does not please you, that Lord you will give them the strength and courage to walk out. I come against fear that will make them settle for less, fear that will make them think they will never meet your best. I pray that they will be able to heal and move on  and wait on your story of their lives. In Jesus name,

Amen

The tales of Talents, Jealousy and Pride

I recently attended a worship session at our church  last week and the ladies leading the sessions had amazing voices! The ones that just make you love a song you have never heard of, the kind of voices that make you think you have an amazing voice when you join in to sing with them. It was amazing and it reminded me of a time I desired to have such kind of talent/gift. For me, I think I would probably get shot if someone pointed a gun at me and dared me to sing to save my life...it would go something like....me: Halleluja.......boom! shot....dead....I wouldn't even get past the common phrase..'listen to the words and not the voice'...its so bad that when a friend dared me on social media to record a video of myself singing the song amazing grace, I was planning to do it in sign language just to save my reputation.

I think now you have a clear picture of how much I suck at singing, but I am told to make 'joyful' noises to God so I keep singing when I can. Thing is, growing up I always thought the people around me were better, better at sports, better at school work (even if I performed well), better at even making noise! I never felt enough and I would try copy the actions of the people I admired most....take for example my brother, he was the coolest person on earth in my eyes such that when he got circumcised and he had to spend a whole week in a 'leso' and change his walking style, in my innocence I wrapped myself in a 'leso' and would imitate his walk in the house just because I wanted to be like him....(sorry for that picture, stay with me here)

Back to the singing, so I desired to be able to sing like the people I saw sing in church as I grew up and even in high school. I thought it was the coolest thing on earth and the best way for me to serve God. Fast forward, after High school, I started writing Facebook notes and people would love them and I could never explain where the words came from up until God placed it in my heart to start a blog after I got saved and the writing comes natural to me. It is so easy for me that now I do case studies at work now without breaking a sweat!.

What am I getting at? 
When God created you and I, He placed certain talents/gifts in us that come naturally, we are not taught, and even when taught it is so easy for us to learn. He places them in us for a purpose, the purpose? to use them for His glory and serve Him, to use them to reach out to others for them to know about Christ, for us to encourage them, for us to build them up.

The problem

A lot of people in the body of Christ are caught up in the comparison game where one feels like the talent given to another is better or the person with a certain talent may feel like they are better than the others. God's plan for His people is to work together and complement one another, every gift given by God is aimed at serving others in the body of Christ, but the devil's plan is to destroy this union amongst believers and we fall right into his trap when we start to compare ourselves to others and this often leads to two things; pride or jealousy.

Angela* the usher
Angela serves as an usher in church and she enjoys it, well kinda. When she sees Sheila on stage leading worship, she finds herself always thinking to herself how Sheila thinks she is so awesome because she can sing and she rarely gets anything out of the session as her focus is always on analyzing Sheila's singing

Jason* the dancer
Jason is great at dancing and this has earned him the coveted slot of performing during the offertory session. He gets a lot of praises from people and this has made him start thinking that no one else deserves that slot and often objects when other people/the choir want the slot.

For Angela, she loses out on gaining from the worship session because she has allowed jealousy to creep in and in a way she finds herself disliking Sheila only because she has formed the idea in her mind that Sheila must think she is better than others because she has a great voice.

For Jason, he has let pride creep in his heart and now thinks that no one else can be as good as him or can out perform him and this shows his focus has shifted from glorifying God to himself.


Solution

We are told in 1 Corinthians 12:12-27 that just like the different body parts have different functions, one cannot do without the other because when one body part fails the rest fail and if one is okay the rest are okay. The same as us in the body of Christ, if one of us is honored all of us are honored and if one of us suffers, all of us suffer.

1. If you find yourself growing jealous of someone because of the gift God has given them, repent and ask for forgiveness, then start praying for this particular person that God may continue to use them, believe me that the feeling will slowly fade away.

2. If you find yourself starting to think you are better than others because of the talent God has given you, repent and ask for God to forgive you and pray that you will stop seeing yourself better than others.

3. If you have not yet discovered your gift or talent, pray for God to reveal it to you and help you develop it and use it for His glory.



For me, I discovered what I am good at and my focus shifted from desiring to be like the singers but to be a better writer. It does not mean that at times I will not think of it, but now because I know what God has placed in me, I no longer desire to be who He has not created me to be, I can simply be me and be content. I pray for the same for you, that you will get to a place of contentment and you will be able to pray for your brothers and sisters in the body of Christ to do better as you do better.

DEAR CHRISTIAN SINGLES

Dear Christian Singles,

I know you think that it has been too long, I know you worry sometimes when you will meet him/her, I know you have dreamed of that moment when you will catch a glimpse of them, I know you have been disappointed when you find out they are not the 'one', I know you have been tempted to settle, I know that when you see happy couples online you wish it was you, I know you have told God over and over that you are ready to meet that person, I know you sometimes  do not feel pretty/handsome enough because you have no one beside you, I know there are days you feel enough and some days you feel well...less than enough, I know there are days you wish that you would have someone to unload your worries on, I know there are days the bed feels too cold, I know there are times you want to reconcile with an EX because you think you cannot do better and I know you wish you would know the time and place when you would meet them......

Thing is, it has not been too long, God needs to prepare both of you before you meet each other because He has a purpose for the two of you.

Thing is, you do not have to worry about when you will meet them because God has everything under control and the moment will be just right..it will be one that the two of you will look back and appreciate every second that led to that ONE moment....

Thing is, with the disappointment that comes with you finding out they are not the 'one' is actually God protecting you from a lifetime of regret, He is saving you from being with someone who you are not meant to be with...

Thing is, do not give into the temptation of settling, because God has HIS best in store for you, He will exceed your expectations and even meet the ones you did not know you had....

Thing is, its great to be happy for other couples but do not limit your idea of a good relationship to theirs, let God write a unique love story for you...it does not have to look like anyone else's, you do not have to meet like they met,it will be a different but beautiful story....

Thing is, God hears you and He knows when you will be ready because He sees the bigger picture and already knows how things will end....trust on His timing, it is P.E.R.F.E.C.T...

Thing is, being single does not mean that you are not pretty/handsome enough, there is NOTHING wrong with you, it only means that the time has not come for you to meet the person who will see your beauty and appreciate you for who you are....

Thing is, you are ENOUGH as a single person, no person on earth can complete you, you are smart, talented, good looking, funny etc, you are enough to live your life in abundance, you have what it takes to achieve your dreams and be the best you can be....

Lastly, Christian single, lay your relationship goals, list, wishes, etc at God's feet let Him handle it for you, let Him shape your desires for a spouse, let Him direct you..let Him have 100% control of things...I dare you today to surrender it all to the Author of love, let Him show you what true love means let Him lead you to His best.....

So go on travel, read stories, hang out with friends and family, get fun hobbies, date yourself,serve in ministry, live your life....let God do the rest....His yoke is easy...

OUR STAY AT NARO MORU RIVER LODGE; The gifts God keeps giving..

~ ~It is coming from my heart, praise and thanks unto You Lord. All the things that You have done I'm grateful for Your love, I give You the praise , I'm counting my blessings I just can't keep it to myself when I thought that He had done too much oh oh oh Jesus did it again~ ~

This song by Sinach has been the song in our hearts since we were joined as husband and wife, because God has done a lot for us and when we think that He has done too much, He surprises us again with something else.

I shared here before that we won a honeymoon package and shared our experience, it was exciting and all we could say is thank God, because He is the giver of ALL good things. When we came back from the honeymoon, the manager from Naru Moru River Lodge, called 'bae' and offered us two nights for free and we had the liberty to choose when we would visit!  So we chose to go there to celebrate 'bae's' birthday and I just had to share how awesome this place is and probably get more people to visit the place.

I will explain through pictures, here we goooooo.....

The sign at the reception( so that you get their logo)

We checked in and welcomed by a glass of juice and  shown to our cosy cottage....

The view of the room and the fire place...oooh and my feet

I forgot to mention that we traveled with our bikes and as soon as we were done with lunch we were off to cycle in the high altitude and explore the area....

Bae looking cool....I wanted to rest too so I bought time by taking pics

That is me at the back faking a smile after almost giving up on the cycle

Back at the hotel after the 15km high altitude cycle....(it was tough!)

Evidence of the 15km cycle

We freshened up after the intense cycle and went on to have dinner  and guess what the hotel did? They set us up on a cosy little corner to have a candle lit dinner....Due to lack of pictures of the food, I will just say the meal was top notch!!

My date..:-)

The dinning area...isn't it beautiful

We then retired to our room, since the place got a bit chilly and we had to take advantage of the fire place in our cottage...

The fire man a.k.a bae lit the room and it became a 'lit' night...hehe see what I did there?

For day two, we had planned to go for a day hike at Mt. Kenya and we were  off by 9am to go for this, It would be my first time but for bae, I have lost count of how many times he has been there.

We got into a bit of car trouble and we were not able to do the climb but managed to reach the gate in the evening and see some water bucks. The biggest lesson for us with the experience we had on day two was; we may make our plans but God has the final say, to be honest before we left for this trip we had thought of cancelling the hike and just go cycling due to the financial implication and to add to this, I forgot my hiking boots and my thermal jacket but we still insisted on going for the hike,up until we got the car trouble. 

We took it as a sign of God giving us several opportunities to stop and ask Him what He wanted us to do but we still insisted on our plan and failed to notice He was speaking to us......we were reminded to always rely on Him because we ended up spending much more than we expected and did not get a chance to do anything 'fun' that day....anyway...I will let the pictures speak from here....

We got to the gate of the park (atleast)

Went back to the hotel and explored the area,....

Random selfie in the hotel area

Riding solo on this one

The wall in the challenge course.....what is this one doing?

The 'web' in the challenge course..look! Here he is again

The bonfire area in the hotel

So, that was our stay at Naro Moru River lodge, it is an awesome place for a weekend gateway, team building, etc...we loved it and we thank God for the opportunity to visit the place for FREE!!!...Lol...Indeed God has been good to us.....we look forward to the next adventure....we will be going back to climb the mountain soon......adios!

SELF ACCEPTANCE;Personalities

I have been part of the Bible study fellowship  (BSF) ,  BSF is an in-depth, interdenominational Bible study that helps people know God and equips them to effectively serve the Church throughout the world.(I copy pasted this from their website). I joined in when the study was on the book of John and it was as if I have never read it before, the small details I had just read through before were now the details that made me understand Jesus and His disciples in a whole new way!

So what has BSF have to do with the topic 'Personalities?'....well like I said I got to understand the disciples and their different personalities and how they were used by Christ. 
What made me to want to write about this is? I was in a meeting and the chairperson asked people to share their prayer requests and one lady went like..'I am an introvert and I want you guys to pray for me to change and be different'...well for me that hurt, why? Because the society has somehow made it seem as if it is wrong/boring/inadequate to be an introvert and for me I did not pray for that lady to change but for her to see the beauty of the personality God gave her..because everything God does is well planned and on purpose.....

Sorry, back to the disciples....there are a few characters that stood out for me in the book of John, and this is why....


#1 Peter
So this guy was impulsive! When the people came to arrest Jesus, he took out his sword and cut a soldier's ear without even thinking twice about it....(John 18:10)
He was quick to tell Jesus that he would lay down his life for him when Jesus asked him if he loved him even without thinking about his statement and Jesus told Him that He would deny Him..(John 13:36-38)
When they heard that Jesus resurrected, he ran to the tomb with John and he was the first to go in as John paused outside the tomb...( John 20)
When Jesus appeared to the disciples as they were fishing,and John told Him that it was indeed Jesus, he swam to the shore and left the other disciples in the boat...(I found this funny as they got to the shore around the same time)....(John 21:1-14)

He clearly never thought through his actions and I found it hilarious because he reminded me of myself and how that quality has gotten me into trouble a few times..okay..alot of times.

At the end of the book, we see Jesus reinstating  him and asking him to feed and take care of His sheep, and we see of the great things he did after this in the book of Acts and how he died for the gospel.

#2 Thomas

He was the cautious guy, the one who had to take calculated risks...

When Lazarus died and Jesus told His disciples that they will go back to Judea, they were all afraid because, the people there had already tried to kill him but when Jesus insisted that they should go back and somehow assured them they will be fine, Thomas told the other disciples that..'Let us go so that we may die with Him'....it was like Jesus never said anything, He still believed they would die because there was no proof that they would be okay....

After Jesus resurrected, He appeared to His disciples and Thomas was not present, so when they told Him that they had seen Jesus, he did not believe them and said that unless he would see His wounds then he would believe,,,,and indeed Jesus showed them to Him and He believed...

For Thomas, seeing was believing and he needed proof of things before he would make his move......despite Him doubting that Jesus rose from the dead even after Jesus had told them that He would, Jesus did not condemn Him but gave him the exact proof he had asked for inorder to assure Him that He is alive....

These two men had two very different personalities, probably you would say, Peter was an extrovert while Thomas was an introvert. 

Thing is, Jesus knew this about them even before He chose them to be His disciples because He knew they possess different strengths and weaknesses. Thomas was unlikely to get into trouble while Peter was very likely to get into trouble and they both had their moments where their personalities 'failed' them as disciples but Jesus showed grace to them.

Truth is, the personality God has given you, makes you have certain weaknesses and strengths that are placed in you on purpose and especially for the purpose of serving Him. So whether extroverted/introverted, you are magnificently designed by God to fulfill a specific purpose on this earth.

You are indeed fearfully and wonderfully made...

IT IS EXPENSIVE TO FOLLOW CHRIST

Take a moment an think of the most expensive thing you have ever bought. The other day my husband mistakenly bought chewing gum worth 300 shillings! we now each eat one of the gum sticks per day and chew it until we cannot chew no more  and probably if someone borrowed it from me I would first explain to them how well they should chew it ....because what! 300 shillings gum?

Okay you now have in mind your most expensive possession...I can bet you take extra care of that possession because of the price you paid for it and that you value it to the extent of spending that much to buy it (unless of course you bought it by mistake)...the more something costs the more time we take to plan for it, like we make a savings plan or plan how to pay off a loan when we are about to purchase anything big.e.g.a house, land , a car....etc 

One thing that most of us are never told when we are called to give our lives to Christ is that it is going to cost us something.....

 Luke 14:27-29 And whoever does not carry their cross and follow me cannot be my disciple. Suppose one of you wants to build a tower. Won’t you first sit down and estimate the cost to see if you have enough money to complete it? For if you lay the foundation and are not able to finish it, everyone who sees it will ridicule you,

Jesus gave this example to people because He wanted them to think about what they are getting themselves into when they will choose to follow Him, that is was better for them to consider this before following Him rather than start then give up when it gets hard.

Following Him might mean that you cannot date that person, you will have to give your money to people, you will have to allow people in need in your space, you will have to stop hanging out with certain friends, you will have to stop hanging out in some joints, you will have to stop listening to some musicians.....it will cost you something and you have to count the cost because stopping half way will get you to be ridiculed....ever heard people say...'lol, we thought you got saved, what happened to your Jesus' when you go back to your old ways....

Are you willing to let go of anyone and everything so that He comes first? Is He that precious to you that you will leave that girlfriend or boyfriend that you know He does not want you to be with? will you leave that friend(s) who you know you should not be hanging with? will you go against the beliefs in your family to follow Him? Is He that precious?

It is scary! Isn't it? that you choose to step out of your comfort zone for Him who gave it all up for you....it requires courage, the courage the Samaritan woman had when she went out and proclaimed Jesus to people who knew her about her lifestyle, the courage the woman who walked to Jesus to wash His feet with perfume in the middle of a party full of people who knew she was a prostitute, the courage that the disciples had to preach Jesus and die for Him...

This kind of courage comes when we regard Jesus as the MOST precious gift to us.....that gets us to the point that we are able to boldly live for Him and be unashamed because other people's salvation depends on your obedience.....so yes it is expensive to be a Christian because it will call for you to count the cost, the cost of being ridiculed, shunned, feeling lonely, losing friends, family and maybe even killed for the sake of the gospel....

Prayer

Dear Lord,

I come before you Lord, asking for forgiveness for allowing fear to/of (insert the thing/person that God is telling you to let go of) and I pray that you may teach me to love you and uphold you above everything else in my life and let go of the fear. Father help me be bold to live for you for the rest of my life and may you use me for the glory of your name. Amen

5 THINGS I LEARNED IN COURTSHIP

Courtship; A period of time when two people (male and female) are building their relationship to lead to marriage.....~ Enid

If you have read my blog before you probably know that my husband and I waited till marriage to have our first kiss (2 and a half years).....I blogged about the reasons HERE . Before you start to think that this is not for you because you already 'messed' up kindly take time to read my testimony HERE .

With that out of the way, I want to share a few lessons I learned over the 2 and half years of courtship......

1. PUT GOD AT THE CENTER

I know it has become a cliche, but this is the MOST important thing you will do. Take for instance, a bicycle wheel, the center of the wheel is called a hub which contains the axle and the bearing that enable the wheel to rotate, I can comfortably conclude that the wheel can do nothing if the hub is not at the center.(the best it can do is be pushed by a kid down the hill to move)

In the same way for those desiring to court in a godly way, you cannot do it if God is not at the center, your efforts to live a holy life will be futile.

So how does it look like to put God at the center? It simply means handling the relationship in a manner that is pleasing to Him.....  involving God in the decisions you make, praying about things together, want to set a wedding date? Pray about it together,....putting God at the center means even the 'smallest' of decisions such as where to hang out, which activities to do together etc should all be led by Him. 

Enid, aren't you over-spiritualizing this thing?

1 Cor 10:31: So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.

As Christians we are called to do everything to bring Him glory and this includes our relationships and the only way to do this is to allow Him to guide us in every little thing...

He promises to guide us and teach us His way only if we allow Him...

Psalms 32:8: I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with my loving eye on you.

Story #1

My husband and I set our wedding date thrice, the first two is because we 'felt' it was the right time and probably we had waited long enough. The second date we had set God spoke to both of us that it was NOT in His plan for us to get married then (I broke down..tihihi..the wait was real yo!) and then we decided to pray about the date and God gave us the date 4th of March and we sit back now and see how beautiful the day was, how much favor He has shown us in that ONE day that He chose and we can only say that His timing is P.E.R.F.E.C.T because if we insisted on our choices we would have struggled so much! To tell you the truth our wedding planning was easy peasy lemon squeezy! we were NOT stressed about anything! 

Involve God in EVERYTHING! it will save you a lot of stress, He knows best

2. PLACE BOUNDARIES 

I know it could fit up there with putting God at the center but I wanted to tackle this on its own. You all know that when you are in a relationship with someone, you are definitely attracted to this person, I mean they make your blood boil with every touch and every whisper,  they make you want to read Songs of Solomon all day long and just day dream about them...lol...you get what I mean, there is physical attraction....

There are so many couples who make vows to each other to wait until marriage to have sex but end up falling into temptation along the way...why? what happens? and what happens after this ?

Why?....because many fail to put boundaries, in that you do not communicate to each other what are the do's and don't's in the relationship and assume that since you two are born-again you can 'fight' off temptation with only prayer and casting out demons....forgetting even Joseph fled when He was sexually tempted...

What happens?.....We start pushing things to see how far we can go before we fall into sin....and we convince ourselves  that we have the will power to stop when we can...and we eventually fall into sin...

What happens after this?..Remember Adam and Eve at the garden of Eden after they fell for the Serpent's lie? They hid from God in shame, and we do exactly that and start pointing fingers at each other, no one usually wants to take responsibility and may lead to a break-up, unplanned pregnancy, etc....and we have seen this happen in churches and people conclude that...'Christians are pretenders'.....

Thing is, when you decide to be in a relationship, first thing you should do is put boundaries, evaluate your weaknesses (can be a place or if you are touched in a certain way) then put boundaries around that, make them known to the other party and keep each other accountable, pray about the relationship because the boundaries are not enough, only the Grace of God can keep you but we have our role to play, which is placing boundaries and God is faithful to keep you two. 

Even if you two have already 'fallen' and the shame is there, a child is involved etc, we can never out-sin God's grace and all you have to do is to go to Him and repent and let Him heal your wounds and make you whole, do not be ashamed of the child born out of such a situation, children are a blessing from God, even if people in church will shun you etc...God will never leave you nor forsake you.......we are all a new creation when in Christ...hold your head up!

Story #2: From the beginning of our relationship, we established a few boundaries that we felt would enable us to wait till marriage to have sex. For us, the first three boundaries that we set were; kissing was off the table , no front hugs this meant we would give each other side hugs and we would not be at any one time alone behind closed doors, this meant that we would not visit each other when unaccompanied, so most of our hang outs are always outdoors...you will find us going out for picnics, cycling and hiking...oh! and going to restaurants with very bright lighting..lol.

It was easy to keep these boundaries in our first year of courtship, but when we got to the second year (I think when we grew in love), we soon found out that it was hard to keep our hands off each other and this led to us adding more boundaries in our basket. A few of what we added were; he would not touch my thigh, we would stop calling each other late in the night and we put a curfew where our dates end before 8:30pm. (removed from a post I did on boundaries)

3. HAVE PEOPLE TO COUNSEL YOU/KEEP YOU ACCOUNTABLE

Since I already defined courtship as a time when two people are building their relationship to get to marriage, get people who are already married and have the same beliefs as you. People who have walked the journey that you two wish to walk, they will offer a lot of wisdom and help you two avoid a lot of pitfalls along the way, you know its always better to learn from other people's mistakes than your own.

These people will keep you accountable, they should be able to ask you the tough questions no one else will, they will challenge you and you can borrow a lot from them on what works and what does not work......

Story#3 We had an older couple who had been married for 23 years counsel us and walk with us (we prayed about this before we chose them) and they would send us a list of questions which we would go through individually then we would visit their home at least once a month and get to ask each other the 'tough' questions, for me it 'busted' a lot of myths about  relationships and marriage that I believed, some of the wrong advice I had been given were diluted with every session. They kept us accountable because we knew that whenever we would meet them, they would ask us how we are. They showed us by example how to serve each other and to have a relationship that reflects Christ and the church......They even at one time helped us solve an issue that we had.....P.S the lady changed my perspective on submission and serving my husband...they are God sent!

4. TAKE TIME TO GET TO KNOW EACH OTHER

I know that most Christian couples are usually encouraged to NOT take too long dating to avoid falling into temptation....this piece of advice is not entirely wrong.....it's just that at times it rushes couples to marriage without them getting to know each other. 

Take time to go out on dates and no they don't have to be expensive, you can go out for picnics, walks,ice cream dates and just talk, ask each other questions openly, go out and do activities together and get to see the other person for who they are. Go on group dates to see how the person handles people, his friends, his family etc......

By ALL means, get to learn the other person, create an atmosphere for friendship to blossom and for it  be the foundation of your relationship.

I have seen people who have been able to wait for 4 years to have their first kiss at the altar, people who have courted for 6 months and still waited to have their first kiss at the alter and both have happy marriages...thing is...it is not a ONE piece fits all scenario.....

Story #4 We courted for 2 and a half years and God enabled us to wait till marriage to have our first kiss, to be honest I was always afraid to share this bit about our relationship because I always thought we would fall . I actually shared it after we got engaged and we had a whole year to go before we would get to the altar but God led me to it and told me that He would sustain us. During this time, I took every possible opportunity to learn the hobbies Grey loved, how he is around His friends, family, how he reacts when he is angry, etc...I put him under an invisible microscope as I did not want to miss a thing, after all my aim was to get to know him in order to make a sober decision when it comes to marriage

5. HAVE FUN!!!!!

I know right! Yes have fun, go out and do what you two consider as fun (not alone trips out of town-we already talked about boundaries).....good clean fun! Let it be an exciting time for the two of you, and it is said that usually when two people get to do fun activities together their bond becomes stronger......its an opportunity to create memories and learn even more about the person e.g. if its a competitive sport you might learn a thing or two about the other person on how they act when they lose/win or how they work in a team.....by ALL means have fun and enjoy the ride...

Story#5 One of the things we have in common is the love for outdoor adventures, we would go hiking, bike riding etc...it gave us an opportunity to see each other for who we are by how we would overcome challenges we faced,....we even spent one of our valentine's day out hiking with a group of friends. We created a lot of memories and this gave us more stories to share when we would sit down on dates....we did have fun! and we did not spend much...so look for ways to have fun without breaking the bank, look for deals or just create your own fun.....

You will be blown away by how much God will honor you if you honor Him in courtship...

1st Samuel 2:30: "Therefore the LORD, the God of Israel, declares: 'I promised that members of your family would minister before me forever.' But now the LORD declares: 'Far be it from me! Those who honor me I will honor, but those who despise me will be disdained.

P..S You probably think this is only for people considering marriage, and not for you who is dating for the fun of it...thing is if a relationship is not leading to marriage there is no point of being in one.......

WE WON! :THE HONEYMOON PACKAGE

It all started with a tag on facebook  by two of my friends on a post that required individuals to share an embarrassing story about their first date inorder to stand a chance to win a wedding makeover and a honeymoon package....it was almost a month of 'annoying' friends to like my comment and help us win and long story short...we won!!! (Taking this opportunity to thank everyone who took time to like and share my comment, God bless you)

Forgive my brief introduction, I just want to get to the juicy parts of this story, It is a long story so I will split it into two; The makeover journey and the honeymoon....and because we have been asked alot 'How was the honeymoon?' and we have just been grinning sheepishly not knowing what to answer, I will start with the honeymoon....(Real reason:The quality pictures for the makeover are not ready yet..:-) )

So it would be the third place we would be staying at since we became Mr and Mrs, and we thought we had seen it all until we got to Amani Tiwi Beach Resort. This place is beautiful! I will let the pictures speak for me for a moment here;

This is us being all 'touristy' and asked our kind cab driver to take a picture of us before we drove in...The management allowed us in....;-)

We were then welcomed by these guys and again..being all 'touristy' we joined in the dance....(ignore the huge suitcase)

We were welcomed by a cocktail...may I say, this is all we drank throughout our stay here, it was too good to resist (forgive the lighting)

Someone got a bit cosy as we were being briefed  about our stay in the hotel....(Bado..hatujafika room Mr....)

We were then taken up to our room, including the big suitcase that you ignored up there.....Again let me let the pictures speak....

Ain't this fancy.....

The view from our room....

We then freshened up and went out to have lunch, the food confused one of us (I will not say which one of us) and ended up crawling after the buffet, the hotel offered a variety of foods from Indian cuisine to 'kikuyu' cuisine.....

Sorry no food pictures....I might have been confused....:-)

We then went off and had a friendly match(kinda friendly ) in table tennis to allow the food to digest......(we were all winners!! Lol I lost)

Did I mention that there was a long pool from the reception area to the beach front? Oh I didn't,,,,again I might have been confused by the food.....so after sweating it out at the 'court' we went in for a dive....oooh the Mr went in for a dive as I walked in the water and he taught me how to float and see under water....(He is a patient teacher)

As the evening set in, the pool area was changed into a dinning area, with tables around the pool and a stage set up for the evening entertainment......and they reserved for us a special table next to the pool......Picture time:

 The dancers

Our special dessert (ignore the bitten mahamri, aki tulijibonda!!)

My handsome date ;-)....

The night ended with guests being welcomed to the dance floor to join the dancing crew, and since tulikua tumejibonda!( we had eaten alot) we just sat there looking at the moon and chatting away......

So I will let the pictures speak for our first day here and My handsome date will be sharing on our second day on his blog soon ( HERE)....and if he doesn't say I almost won in playing pool...I have told you guys....I almost did....

They marked our door with these beautiful flowers.......(The 'do not disturb' sign maybe?)

 The lounge area of the room

Serious table tennis (Call me Enid Serena Williams Nzisa Ngugi)

Bye...for now.... check out Amani Tiwi Beach resort here; Amani