IT IS EXPENSIVE TO FOLLOW CHRIST

Take a moment an think of the most expensive thing you have ever bought. The other day my husband mistakenly bought chewing gum worth 300 shillings! we now each eat one of the gum sticks per day and chew it until we cannot chew no more  and probably if someone borrowed it from me I would first explain to them how well they should chew it ....because what! 300 shillings gum?

Okay you now have in mind your most expensive possession...I can bet you take extra care of that possession because of the price you paid for it and that you value it to the extent of spending that much to buy it (unless of course you bought it by mistake)...the more something costs the more time we take to plan for it, like we make a savings plan or plan how to pay off a loan when we are about to purchase anything big.e.g.a house, land , a car....etc 

One thing that most of us are never told when we are called to give our lives to Christ is that it is going to cost us something.....

 Luke 14:27-29 And whoever does not carry their cross and follow me cannot be my disciple. Suppose one of you wants to build a tower. Won’t you first sit down and estimate the cost to see if you have enough money to complete it? For if you lay the foundation and are not able to finish it, everyone who sees it will ridicule you,

Jesus gave this example to people because He wanted them to think about what they are getting themselves into when they will choose to follow Him, that is was better for them to consider this before following Him rather than start then give up when it gets hard.

Following Him might mean that you cannot date that person, you will have to give your money to people, you will have to allow people in need in your space, you will have to stop hanging out with certain friends, you will have to stop hanging out in some joints, you will have to stop listening to some musicians.....it will cost you something and you have to count the cost because stopping half way will get you to be ridiculed....ever heard people say...'lol, we thought you got saved, what happened to your Jesus' when you go back to your old ways....

Are you willing to let go of anyone and everything so that He comes first? Is He that precious to you that you will leave that girlfriend or boyfriend that you know He does not want you to be with? will you leave that friend(s) who you know you should not be hanging with? will you go against the beliefs in your family to follow Him? Is He that precious?

It is scary! Isn't it? that you choose to step out of your comfort zone for Him who gave it all up for you....it requires courage, the courage the Samaritan woman had when she went out and proclaimed Jesus to people who knew her about her lifestyle, the courage the woman who walked to Jesus to wash His feet with perfume in the middle of a party full of people who knew she was a prostitute, the courage that the disciples had to preach Jesus and die for Him...

This kind of courage comes when we regard Jesus as the MOST precious gift to us.....that gets us to the point that we are able to boldly live for Him and be unashamed because other people's salvation depends on your obedience.....so yes it is expensive to be a Christian because it will call for you to count the cost, the cost of being ridiculed, shunned, feeling lonely, losing friends, family and maybe even killed for the sake of the gospel....

Prayer

Dear Lord,

I come before you Lord, asking for forgiveness for allowing fear to/of (insert the thing/person that God is telling you to let go of) and I pray that you may teach me to love you and uphold you above everything else in my life and let go of the fear. Father help me be bold to live for you for the rest of my life and may you use me for the glory of your name. Amen

5 THINGS I LEARNED IN COURTSHIP

Courtship; A period of time when two people (male and female) are building their relationship to lead to marriage.....~ Enid

If you have read my blog before you probably know that my husband and I waited till marriage to have our first kiss (2 and a half years).....I blogged about the reasons HERE . Before you start to think that this is not for you because you already 'messed' up kindly take time to read my testimony HERE .

With that out of the way, I want to share a few lessons I learned over the 2 and half years of courtship......

1. PUT GOD AT THE CENTER

I know it has become a cliche, but this is the MOST important thing you will do. Take for instance, a bicycle wheel, the center of the wheel is called a hub which contains the axle and the bearing that enable the wheel to rotate, I can comfortably conclude that the wheel can do nothing if the hub is not at the center.(the best it can do is be pushed by a kid down the hill to move)

In the same way for those desiring to court in a godly way, you cannot do it if God is not at the center, your efforts to live a holy life will be futile.

So how does it look like to put God at the center? It simply means handling the relationship in a manner that is pleasing to Him.....  involving God in the decisions you make, praying about things together, want to set a wedding date? Pray about it together,....putting God at the center means even the 'smallest' of decisions such as where to hang out, which activities to do together etc should all be led by Him. 

Enid, aren't you over-spiritualizing this thing?

1 Cor 10:31: So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.

As Christians we are called to do everything to bring Him glory and this includes our relationships and the only way to do this is to allow Him to guide us in every little thing...

He promises to guide us and teach us His way only if we allow Him...

Psalms 32:8: I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with my loving eye on you.

Story #1

My husband and I set our wedding date thrice, the first two is because we 'felt' it was the right time and probably we had waited long enough. The second date we had set God spoke to both of us that it was NOT in His plan for us to get married then (I broke down..tihihi..the wait was real yo!) and then we decided to pray about the date and God gave us the date 4th of March and we sit back now and see how beautiful the day was, how much favor He has shown us in that ONE day that He chose and we can only say that His timing is P.E.R.F.E.C.T because if we insisted on our choices we would have struggled so much! To tell you the truth our wedding planning was easy peasy lemon squeezy! we were NOT stressed about anything! 

Involve God in EVERYTHING! it will save you a lot of stress, He knows best

2. PLACE BOUNDARIES 

I know it could fit up there with putting God at the center but I wanted to tackle this on its own. You all know that when you are in a relationship with someone, you are definitely attracted to this person, I mean they make your blood boil with every touch and every whisper,  they make you want to read Songs of Solomon all day long and just day dream about them...lol...you get what I mean, there is physical attraction....

There are so many couples who make vows to each other to wait until marriage to have sex but end up falling into temptation along the way...why? what happens? and what happens after this ?

Why?....because many fail to put boundaries, in that you do not communicate to each other what are the do's and don't's in the relationship and assume that since you two are born-again you can 'fight' off temptation with only prayer and casting out demons....forgetting even Joseph fled when He was sexually tempted...

What happens?.....We start pushing things to see how far we can go before we fall into sin....and we convince ourselves  that we have the will power to stop when we can...and we eventually fall into sin...

What happens after this?..Remember Adam and Eve at the garden of Eden after they fell for the Serpent's lie? They hid from God in shame, and we do exactly that and start pointing fingers at each other, no one usually wants to take responsibility and may lead to a break-up, unplanned pregnancy, etc....and we have seen this happen in churches and people conclude that...'Christians are pretenders'.....

Thing is, when you decide to be in a relationship, first thing you should do is put boundaries, evaluate your weaknesses (can be a place or if you are touched in a certain way) then put boundaries around that, make them known to the other party and keep each other accountable, pray about the relationship because the boundaries are not enough, only the Grace of God can keep you but we have our role to play, which is placing boundaries and God is faithful to keep you two. 

Even if you two have already 'fallen' and the shame is there, a child is involved etc, we can never out-sin God's grace and all you have to do is to go to Him and repent and let Him heal your wounds and make you whole, do not be ashamed of the child born out of such a situation, children are a blessing from God, even if people in church will shun you etc...God will never leave you nor forsake you.......we are all a new creation when in Christ...hold your head up!

Story #2: From the beginning of our relationship, we established a few boundaries that we felt would enable us to wait till marriage to have sex. For us, the first three boundaries that we set were; kissing was off the table , no front hugs this meant we would give each other side hugs and we would not be at any one time alone behind closed doors, this meant that we would not visit each other when unaccompanied, so most of our hang outs are always outdoors...you will find us going out for picnics, cycling and hiking...oh! and going to restaurants with very bright lighting..lol.

It was easy to keep these boundaries in our first year of courtship, but when we got to the second year (I think when we grew in love), we soon found out that it was hard to keep our hands off each other and this led to us adding more boundaries in our basket. A few of what we added were; he would not touch my thigh, we would stop calling each other late in the night and we put a curfew where our dates end before 8:30pm. (removed from a post I did on boundaries)

3. HAVE PEOPLE TO COUNSEL YOU/KEEP YOU ACCOUNTABLE

Since I already defined courtship as a time when two people are building their relationship to get to marriage, get people who are already married and have the same beliefs as you. People who have walked the journey that you two wish to walk, they will offer a lot of wisdom and help you two avoid a lot of pitfalls along the way, you know its always better to learn from other people's mistakes than your own.

These people will keep you accountable, they should be able to ask you the tough questions no one else will, they will challenge you and you can borrow a lot from them on what works and what does not work......

Story#3 We had an older couple who had been married for 23 years counsel us and walk with us (we prayed about this before we chose them) and they would send us a list of questions which we would go through individually then we would visit their home at least once a month and get to ask each other the 'tough' questions, for me it 'busted' a lot of myths about  relationships and marriage that I believed, some of the wrong advice I had been given were diluted with every session. They kept us accountable because we knew that whenever we would meet them, they would ask us how we are. They showed us by example how to serve each other and to have a relationship that reflects Christ and the church......They even at one time helped us solve an issue that we had.....P.S the lady changed my perspective on submission and serving my husband...they are God sent!

4. TAKE TIME TO GET TO KNOW EACH OTHER

I know that most Christian couples are usually encouraged to NOT take too long dating to avoid falling into temptation....this piece of advice is not entirely wrong.....it's just that at times it rushes couples to marriage without them getting to know each other. 

Take time to go out on dates and no they don't have to be expensive, you can go out for picnics, walks,ice cream dates and just talk, ask each other questions openly, go out and do activities together and get to see the other person for who they are. Go on group dates to see how the person handles people, his friends, his family etc......

By ALL means, get to learn the other person, create an atmosphere for friendship to blossom and for it  be the foundation of your relationship.

I have seen people who have been able to wait for 4 years to have their first kiss at the altar, people who have courted for 6 months and still waited to have their first kiss at the alter and both have happy marriages...thing is...it is not a ONE piece fits all scenario.....

Story #4 We courted for 2 and a half years and God enabled us to wait till marriage to have our first kiss, to be honest I was always afraid to share this bit about our relationship because I always thought we would fall . I actually shared it after we got engaged and we had a whole year to go before we would get to the altar but God led me to it and told me that He would sustain us. During this time, I took every possible opportunity to learn the hobbies Grey loved, how he is around His friends, family, how he reacts when he is angry, etc...I put him under an invisible microscope as I did not want to miss a thing, after all my aim was to get to know him in order to make a sober decision when it comes to marriage

5. HAVE FUN!!!!!

I know right! Yes have fun, go out and do what you two consider as fun (not alone trips out of town-we already talked about boundaries).....good clean fun! Let it be an exciting time for the two of you, and it is said that usually when two people get to do fun activities together their bond becomes stronger......its an opportunity to create memories and learn even more about the person e.g. if its a competitive sport you might learn a thing or two about the other person on how they act when they lose/win or how they work in a team.....by ALL means have fun and enjoy the ride...

Story#5 One of the things we have in common is the love for outdoor adventures, we would go hiking, bike riding etc...it gave us an opportunity to see each other for who we are by how we would overcome challenges we faced,....we even spent one of our valentine's day out hiking with a group of friends. We created a lot of memories and this gave us more stories to share when we would sit down on dates....we did have fun! and we did not spend much...so look for ways to have fun without breaking the bank, look for deals or just create your own fun.....

You will be blown away by how much God will honor you if you honor Him in courtship...

1st Samuel 2:30: "Therefore the LORD, the God of Israel, declares: 'I promised that members of your family would minister before me forever.' But now the LORD declares: 'Far be it from me! Those who honor me I will honor, but those who despise me will be disdained.

P..S You probably think this is only for people considering marriage, and not for you who is dating for the fun of it...thing is if a relationship is not leading to marriage there is no point of being in one.......

WE WON! :THE HONEYMOON PACKAGE

It all started with a tag on facebook  by two of my friends on a post that required individuals to share an embarrassing story about their first date inorder to stand a chance to win a wedding makeover and a honeymoon package....it was almost a month of 'annoying' friends to like my comment and help us win and long story short...we won!!! (Taking this opportunity to thank everyone who took time to like and share my comment, God bless you)

Forgive my brief introduction, I just want to get to the juicy parts of this story, It is a long story so I will split it into two; The makeover journey and the honeymoon....and because we have been asked alot 'How was the honeymoon?' and we have just been grinning sheepishly not knowing what to answer, I will start with the honeymoon....(Real reason:The quality pictures for the makeover are not ready yet..:-) )

So it would be the third place we would be staying at since we became Mr and Mrs, and we thought we had seen it all until we got to Amani Tiwi Beach Resort. This place is beautiful! I will let the pictures speak for me for a moment here;

This is us being all 'touristy' and asked our kind cab driver to take a picture of us before we drove in...The management allowed us in....;-)

We were then welcomed by these guys and again..being all 'touristy' we joined in the dance....(ignore the huge suitcase)

We were welcomed by a cocktail...may I say, this is all we drank throughout our stay here, it was too good to resist (forgive the lighting)

Someone got a bit cosy as we were being briefed  about our stay in the hotel....(Bado..hatujafika room Mr....)

We were then taken up to our room, including the big suitcase that you ignored up there.....Again let me let the pictures speak....

Ain't this fancy.....

The view from our room....

We then freshened up and went out to have lunch, the food confused one of us (I will not say which one of us) and ended up crawling after the buffet, the hotel offered a variety of foods from Indian cuisine to 'kikuyu' cuisine.....

Sorry no food pictures....I might have been confused....:-)

We then went off and had a friendly match(kinda friendly ) in table tennis to allow the food to digest......(we were all winners!! Lol I lost)

Did I mention that there was a long pool from the reception area to the beach front? Oh I didn't,,,,again I might have been confused by the food.....so after sweating it out at the 'court' we went in for a dive....oooh the Mr went in for a dive as I walked in the water and he taught me how to float and see under water....(He is a patient teacher)

As the evening set in, the pool area was changed into a dinning area, with tables around the pool and a stage set up for the evening entertainment......and they reserved for us a special table next to the pool......Picture time:

 The dancers

Our special dessert (ignore the bitten mahamri, aki tulijibonda!!)

My handsome date ;-)....

The night ended with guests being welcomed to the dance floor to join the dancing crew, and since tulikua tumejibonda!( we had eaten alot) we just sat there looking at the moon and chatting away......

So I will let the pictures speak for our first day here and My handsome date will be sharing on our second day on his blog soon ( HERE)....and if he doesn't say I almost won in playing pool...I have told you guys....I almost did....

They marked our door with these beautiful flowers.......(The 'do not disturb' sign maybe?)

 The lounge area of the room

Serious table tennis (Call me Enid Serena Williams Nzisa Ngugi)

Bye...for now.... check out Amani Tiwi Beach resort here; Amani

CHRONICLES OF A SOON TO BE BRIDE: BRIDAL SHOWERS

From last year ,I had been joking with my bridesmaids that I will send them a list of who to invite for my bridal shower lol.....is this strange? Yes? No?...So I ended up sending them two numbers I think a week to the surprise......

I had my February planned out....and I left the weekend of 18th and 19th Feb free...so just in case they would plan a bridal shower for me I would be somehow aware....is this strange? Yes? No?.....


Bridal shower 1
I thought I had it all figured out, my fiance and I were invited by a friend to visit them on the 18th and my mind went like....aha! That is when I will have my bridal shower.....so when we arrived at their house, we find our friend alone....the house was quiet and no activity going on....we sat on the couch and I was thinking to myself....'woiii you do not have a bridal shower, you thought you were smart...' lol so we had some small talk on the wedding planning and at this point I had lost all hope of having a bridal shower....

Just when I had already convinced myself that my day would entail us talking about marriage and our walk with Christ with our friends...a group of ladies come out of the corridors (I thought they came out from a secret doorway) and shouted  'surprise!!!' oh boy! I got played that day...and I shed a few tears....
The day went on with some very interesting games and a session where my maid of honor gave us advice on marriage and two older ladies from my church as well ....long story short the day ended up with me still in shock, teary and with me having to be transported back home in an uber because of the gifts I received.....


Bridal Shower 2
My mum had informed me that she will be having her 'chama' friends over and requested if I could help her prepare for them.....so I put on my big girl pants and helped out.....

So when they arrived, I was asked to go and sit with my small niece in my room... while I was teaching her how to open up a small can of petroleum jelly...my cousin and my friend show up claiming they are taking me out for ice cream and when I get to the living room...who do I find? My aunties and cousins and again I heard the word... 'surprise!!'...so I got played twice in one weekend.....

The highlight of this day was the gifts they bought...I would have never thought I would receive such gifts and the advice behind them,,,, was incredible! and my aunt giving me the Sex talk in front of my mother...never have I felt like crawling under the door and running away.......glad someone asked for  a cup of tea in between and gave me room to fan myself.....


I had one of the most exciting weekends of my life because;

I desired a bridal shower and God gave me not just one but TWO incredible showers that reminded me of the support I have from my friends and family...

They reminded me of how much God has a hand in this and will continuously equip me to be a good wife who will bring glory to Him.....

They reminded me  that my life will no longer be about ME when I will say I DO....that now I have to put someone else before me...because all the gifts I received were all going to benefit my husband.....

They reminded me that it was worth the wait, that it was worth us waiting to kiss and have sex when we are husband and wife because I could see the excitement in those who knew about this......

Most of all,they reminded me that I may not have an earthly father to prepare me for what is ahead, but I have a Heavenly Father who knows even the needs I have no idea I have...because of the priceless advice I received that weekend...


Yours truly,

A surprised bride to be

Chronicles of a soon to be bride: The excitement edition

I am currently in the northern part of Kenya, I am from an amazing field trip (if you ignore the dust and the sun) and all I can think of at the end of the day is......MY SKIN!.., how I am hoping the sun and the dust do not cause alot of damage because am running out of time before the 'big day'....and catch up now with my fiance is him updating me on the service providers he has talked to (God bless this man for making things easy for me)...so what has been on my mind?...

It has been interesting so far, from random people referring me to people they know who provide great decor, catering,wedding gowns e.t.c to people asking me how I feel, and most of the time I do not know how I feel so I go with....mmmmh....'normal' because at the moment I was thinking of eating boiled maize with just the right amount of salt......
I now follow bridal pages on social media and YouTube now suggests for me to watch wedding videos.....a big change from them suggesting for me to watch a preview of the next minion movie...
I am now saving people as....'sylvia decor', 'Deno food'....and my email is full with quotations and contracts and reminders.......
Anyway, to be honest I am excited about the 'big' day....it would be abnormal not to be right? Because I get to look my best for that day, get gifts ( hint hint readers) and mostly because I will get to kiss my fiance for the very first time....it is really a big day.....
 I try to fight the feeling of excitement because I do not want my focus to be on that one 'big' day that I forget the days after...but sometimes I allow myself to get lost in thinking of that 'big' day....
There are days I wake up thinking 'wuuuuuuhu! am going to get married!' and there are days I wake up thinking....'ooooh boy! am I ready for this? am I ready to give up my singlehood?'
Sometimes I meet people who tell me how men are dogs and marrying one is a mistake, and there are times I meet people who show me that marriage is beautiful...(I thank God for my boss and best couple)

Thing is,
I am definitely excited to begin this season of my life, I am excited that I will get into a covenant where I will be challenged to forgive, to serve and mostly to put someone else before myself...
I am excited because I will have someone to share my life with and finally ditch sleeping in a jumper during the cold season....
I am excited that I will have a 'guinea pig' for my food and smoothie recipes......
I am mostly excited because we will get to fulfill the purpose in which God has called us to fulfill as a couple and reach more souls together....

............................................TO BE CONTINUED............................

Sincerely,

An excited, minion-loving young lady

Relationships 101: It is possible to wait

After I wrote the post on why I am waiting to kiss my fiance on the wedding day, it made rounds on social media and a friend of mine shared with me a screen shot from one of the groups it was shared in. The caption on it was "do people do this?" And there were several other comments that followed people asking what if I get disappointed etc... It was hilarious to me because I understood where they were coming from because I used to ask such questions a while back.

God put it in my heart to share our journey so far and how we have managed to still stick to that boundary so far...(A few more days to go...lol). So what has worked for us?

1. Boundaries

From the beginning of our relationship, we established a few boundaries that we felt would enable us to wait till marriage to have sex. For us, the first three boundaries that we set were; kissing was off the table (I wrote about the why's on that post) , no front hugs this meant we would give each other side hugs and we would not be at any one time alone behind closed doors, this meant that we would not visit each other when unaccompanied, so most of our hang outs are always outdoors...you will find us going out for picnics, cycling and hiking...oh! and going to restaurants with very bright lighting..lol.
It was easy to keep these boundaries in our first year of courtship, but when we got to the second year (I think when we grew in love), we soon found out that it was hard to keep our hands off each other and this led to us adding more boundaries in our basket. A few of what we added were; he would not touch my thigh, we would stop calling each other late in the night and we put a curfew where our dates end before 8:30pm.

Lesson: Get to understand your triggers as individuals and situations that would make you two vulnerable then set boundaries around that.

2. Accountability 
The first part of this is, we keep each other accountable, we have this habit of asking each other how it is going so far and remind each other why we are doing this.
The second part is, I  have four ladies who keep me accountable. They are the ones who will tell me to let go of stupid ideas such as inviting Grey over when am alone, to avoid holding on to his arm too tight....or tell me when my dress is too tight or too short...etc...they are the ones I ask to pray for us when I see that we are about to fall. Oh these sisters are fierce! And I have got mad at them a few times.

3. The Grace of God
Having boundaries and accountability is not enough, the one thing that has kept us this far is God's grace.
There was a time we found ourselves alone for about 1 hour  at my home (unplanned, its a long story) but funny thing is that the night before, God showed Grey in a dream that we would end up alone in the house and he had to pray about it when he woke up and God kept us and nothing happened.
Only by His grace have we been able to abstain this far.....to be honest there are days we wish we were not waiting but His grace is always sufficient for us.....
 
Something to note:
Thing is, we both decided that we would wait until marriage and not kiss the person we would date even before we ever met.... And the decision to wait is not because of each other but because of our relationship with God. There is no way you will say you are in a relationship with Jesus and not desire to live like He commands and He says if you love Him you will obey His commands. So whatever holds us to this decision is bigger than us and that is the only way we have been able to wait.

Which role has he played?

Let me use an example; there was a time he was pushed by our friends to help me learn how to swim which would mean us getting close to each other and he walked away from the pool.
This was significant to me because he purposefully aims for us to walk in purity and removes himself from situations where it would be compromised

My role?

As much as I always want to look good for him, I aim not to make him stumble by avoiding to wear anything that would tempt him.

Our role together?

We continuously pray for each other that we may be able to walk in purity with our minds, words and actions. We both understand that we are just human and we may fall but if we have Jesus covering us, we will be fine.

I write this with the aim of encouraging those courting and those hoping to court one day that it is possible for two young people who are madly in love with each other to wait until marriage, do not believe in the lies of the world that it is impossible or you have already messed up or you have to prove sexual compatibility before you marry someone. God will make it possible for you, seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness and ALL these things will be added unto you.

With love,

Enid

How far is too far?: Relationships 101

"How far is too far?" ....this is the most common question asked in every relationship seminar held for young people......Usually we ask this so that we can find out just how much we can be physically involved with someone we are dating before it is categorized as sin.....
Other questions that follow are is it okay to kiss? to cuddle? etc....

It is like walking closer to the edge of a cliff and keep asking someone am I almost falling?(seems like your aim is to fall, because why are you doing that?) kinda dumb isn't it?  Because every step you take towards the edge of the cliff increases your chances of falling off the cliff....

So if you are asking this question...I would urge you to stop just where you are and consider these things.....

1. God has not called us to be virgins but to be sexually pure

 I have met christian men  who tell me that they make out, shower and do all sorts of things with their girlfriends but they do not have sexual intercourse with them because they are saving that for their wives.....this is like telling me that you take a slice of bread and butter it and lick it and return it in it's pack for someone else to eat...(okay maybe not the best comparison, but you get what I mean)

Virginity is part of being sexually pure, but you can be a virgin and not be sexually pure...what am I getting at? Sexual purity is so much more than remaining a virgin physically. Purity means freedom from contamination, from any thing that would spoil the taste of pleasure, reduce power or in any way adulterate what the thing was meant to be. It means cleanness, clearness-no additives, nothing artificial in other words 'all natural' in the sense in which the original designer designed it to be.(definition borrowed from Elisabeth Elliot)

So can I say then that what we do (the making out, cuddling, petting, oral sex, etc) is sin? Or can I say that it might take the edge off, spoil the taste of pleasure later on, it might distract the heart?
Jesus commended the Pharisees for teaching the doctrines but they exemplified little of what they taught. It is always the heart's direction that matters....God is always concerned about your heart,....so why are you doing all that you do? Is it to remain sexually pure or is it to remain a virgin? or is it to try balancing your desires with that of God by justifying it by saying..'we did not go the whole way'.....

2. You will fall off the cliff soon

As humans we tend to get bored with routine, doing the same thing over and over again leaves us with the urge of taking it a notch higher or doing the 'thing' differently in order to get the excitement of doing it back.So how long do you think you can last before you two decide to increase the pleasure and the excitement? How long do you think it will take before you start looking for excuses to fall down the cliff? This is where you will get yourselves trying to justify it by saying...'After all we will get married eventually', or 'we have already got this far'.....etc....




3. If you are ashamed of what you are doing then stop

Because you are already asking how far you can go, probably it is because you already know you want or you are already doing something that you cannot tell your pastor about....
Every time you do anything that leaves you feeling ashamed is a sign you should stop.....run back far away from the cliff and stay there......


Why do we get ourselves asking this question as Christians? Number one reason is because our hearts are not right with God, because once you understand that God has called you to be Holy just like He is.....it should push you to a higher level and to higher standards..where you are not trying to test and see how far you can go before you sin but where you run far away from what may lead you to sin....because you get to understand that as a Christian, your standards have been set much much much higher than that of the world because you are a reflection of Christ on earth....

Meaning even in our relationships we are called to set the bar so high so that we may be able to walk in purity, thing is you can pray not to fall into sin and even bind spirits but if you two do not put boundaries that will help you walk in purity you are bound to fall....

Wouldn't that relationship be boring? what then will distinguish you two as boyfriend and girlfriend and not just friends? 
 There are a lot of fun things you can do together that will enable you to bond in a way that all the other ways cannot. Thing is you can make out with anyone, you can do all those things with anyone but if you are looking to marry someone you may want to find out how the person behaves around their friends? family? how they handle finances? how many kids they want? etc so many things that are not determined by whether you get physical or not....

ASK and you shall be answered....ask God to guide you two in the relationship and if truly you two desire to walk in purity, He will honor that and keep you two....if you two are heading closer to the cliff...stop and re-evaluate your relationship and see if you are honoring God in it maybe it is time to put new boundaries in the relationship.....if you two have already fallen off the cliff and desire to walk in purity....ask for forgiveness and put boundaries in the relationship and get people who will keep you two accountable...if you are the only one in the relationship trying not to get to the edge of the cliff and the other party is pushing you? Walk away, as hard as it may be...you have to choose them or honoring God.....