WE WON! :THE HONEYMOON PACKAGE

It all started with a tag on facebook  by two of my friends on a post that required individuals to share an embarrassing story about their first date inorder to stand a chance to win a wedding makeover and a honeymoon package....it was almost a month of 'annoying' friends to like my comment and help us win and long story short...we won!!! (Taking this opportunity to thank everyone who took time to like and share my comment, God bless you)

Forgive my brief introduction, I just want to get to the juicy parts of this story, It is a long story so I will split it into two; The makeover journey and the honeymoon....and because we have been asked alot 'How was the honeymoon?' and we have just been grinning sheepishly not knowing what to answer, I will start with the honeymoon....(Real reason:The quality pictures for the makeover are not ready yet..:-) )

So it would be the third place we would be staying at since we became Mr and Mrs, and we thought we had seen it all until we got to Amani Tiwi Beach Resort. This place is beautiful! I will let the pictures speak for me for a moment here;

This is us being all 'touristy' and asked our kind cab driver to take a picture of us before we drove in...The management allowed us in....;-)

We were then welcomed by these guys and again..being all 'touristy' we joined in the dance....(ignore the huge suitcase)

We were welcomed by a cocktail...may I say, this is all we drank throughout our stay here, it was too good to resist (forgive the lighting)

Someone got a bit cosy as we were being briefed  about our stay in the hotel....(Bado..hatujafika room Mr....)

We were then taken up to our room, including the big suitcase that you ignored up there.....Again let me let the pictures speak....

Ain't this fancy.....

The view from our room....

We then freshened up and went out to have lunch, the food confused one of us (I will not say which one of us) and ended up crawling after the buffet, the hotel offered a variety of foods from Indian cuisine to 'kikuyu' cuisine.....

Sorry no food pictures....I might have been confused....:-)

We then went off and had a friendly match(kinda friendly ) in table tennis to allow the food to digest......(we were all winners!! Lol I lost)

Did I mention that there was a long pool from the reception area to the beach front? Oh I didn't,,,,again I might have been confused by the food.....so after sweating it out at the 'court' we went in for a dive....oooh the Mr went in for a dive as I walked in the water and he taught me how to float and see under water....(He is a patient teacher)

As the evening set in, the pool area was changed into a dinning area, with tables around the pool and a stage set up for the evening entertainment......and they reserved for us a special table next to the pool......Picture time:

 The dancers

Our special dessert (ignore the bitten mahamri, aki tulijibonda!!)

My handsome date ;-)....

The night ended with guests being welcomed to the dance floor to join the dancing crew, and since tulikua tumejibonda!( we had eaten alot) we just sat there looking at the moon and chatting away......

So I will let the pictures speak for our first day here and My handsome date will be sharing on our second day on his blog soon ( HERE)....and if he doesn't say I almost won in playing pool...I have told you guys....I almost did....

They marked our door with these beautiful flowers.......(The 'do not disturb' sign maybe?)

 The lounge area of the room

Serious table tennis (Call me Enid Serena Williams Nzisa Ngugi)

Bye...for now.... check out Amani Tiwi Beach resort here; Amani

CHRONICLES OF A SOON TO BE BRIDE: BRIDAL SHOWERS

From last year ,I had been joking with my bridesmaids that I will send them a list of who to invite for my bridal shower lol.....is this strange? Yes? No?...So I ended up sending them two numbers I think a week to the surprise......

I had my February planned out....and I left the weekend of 18th and 19th Feb free...so just in case they would plan a bridal shower for me I would be somehow aware....is this strange? Yes? No?.....


Bridal shower 1
I thought I had it all figured out, my fiance and I were invited by a friend to visit them on the 18th and my mind went like....aha! That is when I will have my bridal shower.....so when we arrived at their house, we find our friend alone....the house was quiet and no activity going on....we sat on the couch and I was thinking to myself....'woiii you do not have a bridal shower, you thought you were smart...' lol so we had some small talk on the wedding planning and at this point I had lost all hope of having a bridal shower....

Just when I had already convinced myself that my day would entail us talking about marriage and our walk with Christ with our friends...a group of ladies come out of the corridors (I thought they came out from a secret doorway) and shouted  'surprise!!!' oh boy! I got played that day...and I shed a few tears....
The day went on with some very interesting games and a session where my maid of honor gave us advice on marriage and two older ladies from my church as well ....long story short the day ended up with me still in shock, teary and with me having to be transported back home in an uber because of the gifts I received.....


Bridal Shower 2
My mum had informed me that she will be having her 'chama' friends over and requested if I could help her prepare for them.....so I put on my big girl pants and helped out.....

So when they arrived, I was asked to go and sit with my small niece in my room... while I was teaching her how to open up a small can of petroleum jelly...my cousin and my friend show up claiming they are taking me out for ice cream and when I get to the living room...who do I find? My aunties and cousins and again I heard the word... 'surprise!!'...so I got played twice in one weekend.....

The highlight of this day was the gifts they bought...I would have never thought I would receive such gifts and the advice behind them,,,, was incredible! and my aunt giving me the Sex talk in front of my mother...never have I felt like crawling under the door and running away.......glad someone asked for  a cup of tea in between and gave me room to fan myself.....


I had one of the most exciting weekends of my life because;

I desired a bridal shower and God gave me not just one but TWO incredible showers that reminded me of the support I have from my friends and family...

They reminded me of how much God has a hand in this and will continuously equip me to be a good wife who will bring glory to Him.....

They reminded me  that my life will no longer be about ME when I will say I DO....that now I have to put someone else before me...because all the gifts I received were all going to benefit my husband.....

They reminded me that it was worth the wait, that it was worth us waiting to kiss and have sex when we are husband and wife because I could see the excitement in those who knew about this......

Most of all,they reminded me that I may not have an earthly father to prepare me for what is ahead, but I have a Heavenly Father who knows even the needs I have no idea I have...because of the priceless advice I received that weekend...


Yours truly,

A surprised bride to be

Chronicles of a soon to be bride: The excitement edition

I am currently in the northern part of Kenya, I am from an amazing field trip (if you ignore the dust and the sun) and all I can think of at the end of the day is......MY SKIN!.., how I am hoping the sun and the dust do not cause alot of damage because am running out of time before the 'big day'....and catch up now with my fiance is him updating me on the service providers he has talked to (God bless this man for making things easy for me)...so what has been on my mind?...

It has been interesting so far, from random people referring me to people they know who provide great decor, catering,wedding gowns e.t.c to people asking me how I feel, and most of the time I do not know how I feel so I go with....mmmmh....'normal' because at the moment I was thinking of eating boiled maize with just the right amount of salt......
I now follow bridal pages on social media and YouTube now suggests for me to watch wedding videos.....a big change from them suggesting for me to watch a preview of the next minion movie...
I am now saving people as....'sylvia decor', 'Deno food'....and my email is full with quotations and contracts and reminders.......
Anyway, to be honest I am excited about the 'big' day....it would be abnormal not to be right? Because I get to look my best for that day, get gifts ( hint hint readers) and mostly because I will get to kiss my fiance for the very first time....it is really a big day.....
 I try to fight the feeling of excitement because I do not want my focus to be on that one 'big' day that I forget the days after...but sometimes I allow myself to get lost in thinking of that 'big' day....
There are days I wake up thinking 'wuuuuuuhu! am going to get married!' and there are days I wake up thinking....'ooooh boy! am I ready for this? am I ready to give up my singlehood?'
Sometimes I meet people who tell me how men are dogs and marrying one is a mistake, and there are times I meet people who show me that marriage is beautiful...(I thank God for my boss and best couple)

Thing is,
I am definitely excited to begin this season of my life, I am excited that I will get into a covenant where I will be challenged to forgive, to serve and mostly to put someone else before myself...
I am excited because I will have someone to share my life with and finally ditch sleeping in a jumper during the cold season....
I am excited that I will have a 'guinea pig' for my food and smoothie recipes......
I am mostly excited because we will get to fulfill the purpose in which God has called us to fulfill as a couple and reach more souls together....

............................................TO BE CONTINUED............................

Sincerely,

An excited, minion-loving young lady

Relationships 101: It is possible to wait

After I wrote the post on why I am waiting to kiss my fiance on the wedding day, it made rounds on social media and a friend of mine shared with me a screen shot from one of the groups it was shared in. The caption on it was "do people do this?" And there were several other comments that followed people asking what if I get disappointed etc... It was hilarious to me because I understood where they were coming from because I used to ask such questions a while back.

God put it in my heart to share our journey so far and how we have managed to still stick to that boundary so far...(A few more days to go...lol). So what has worked for us?

1. Boundaries

From the beginning of our relationship, we established a few boundaries that we felt would enable us to wait till marriage to have sex. For us, the first three boundaries that we set were; kissing was off the table (I wrote about the why's on that post) , no front hugs this meant we would give each other side hugs and we would not be at any one time alone behind closed doors, this meant that we would not visit each other when unaccompanied, so most of our hang outs are always outdoors...you will find us going out for picnics, cycling and hiking...oh! and going to restaurants with very bright lighting..lol.
It was easy to keep these boundaries in our first year of courtship, but when we got to the second year (I think when we grew in love), we soon found out that it was hard to keep our hands off each other and this led to us adding more boundaries in our basket. A few of what we added were; he would not touch my thigh, we would stop calling each other late in the night and we put a curfew where our dates end before 8:30pm.

Lesson: Get to understand your triggers as individuals and situations that would make you two vulnerable then set boundaries around that.

2. Accountability 
The first part of this is, we keep each other accountable, we have this habit of asking each other how it is going so far and remind each other why we are doing this.
The second part is, I  have four ladies who keep me accountable. They are the ones who will tell me to let go of stupid ideas such as inviting Grey over when am alone, to avoid holding on to his arm too tight....or tell me when my dress is too tight or too short...etc...they are the ones I ask to pray for us when I see that we are about to fall. Oh these sisters are fierce! And I have got mad at them a few times.

3. The Grace of God
Having boundaries and accountability is not enough, the one thing that has kept us this far is God's grace.
There was a time we found ourselves alone for about 1 hour  at my home (unplanned, its a long story) but funny thing is that the night before, God showed Grey in a dream that we would end up alone in the house and he had to pray about it when he woke up and God kept us and nothing happened.
Only by His grace have we been able to abstain this far.....to be honest there are days we wish we were not waiting but His grace is always sufficient for us.....
 
Something to note:
Thing is, we both decided that we would wait until marriage and not kiss the person we would date even before we ever met.... And the decision to wait is not because of each other but because of our relationship with God. There is no way you will say you are in a relationship with Jesus and not desire to live like He commands and He says if you love Him you will obey His commands. So whatever holds us to this decision is bigger than us and that is the only way we have been able to wait.

Which role has he played?

Let me use an example; there was a time he was pushed by our friends to help me learn how to swim which would mean us getting close to each other and he walked away from the pool.
This was significant to me because he purposefully aims for us to walk in purity and removes himself from situations where it would be compromised

My role?

As much as I always want to look good for him, I aim not to make him stumble by avoiding to wear anything that would tempt him.

Our role together?

We continuously pray for each other that we may be able to walk in purity with our minds, words and actions. We both understand that we are just human and we may fall but if we have Jesus covering us, we will be fine.

I write this with the aim of encouraging those courting and those hoping to court one day that it is possible for two young people who are madly in love with each other to wait until marriage, do not believe in the lies of the world that it is impossible or you have already messed up or you have to prove sexual compatibility before you marry someone. God will make it possible for you, seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness and ALL these things will be added unto you.

With love,

Enid

How far is too far?: Relationships 101

"How far is too far?" ....this is the most common question asked in every relationship seminar held for young people......Usually we ask this so that we can find out just how much we can be physically involved with someone we are dating before it is categorized as sin.....
Other questions that follow are is it okay to kiss? to cuddle? etc....

It is like walking closer to the edge of a cliff and keep asking someone am I almost falling?(seems like your aim is to fall, because why are you doing that?) kinda dumb isn't it?  Because every step you take towards the edge of the cliff increases your chances of falling off the cliff....

So if you are asking this question...I would urge you to stop just where you are and consider these things.....

1. God has not called us to be virgins but to be sexually pure

 I have met christian men  who tell me that they make out, shower and do all sorts of things with their girlfriends but they do not have sexual intercourse with them because they are saving that for their wives.....this is like telling me that you take a slice of bread and butter it and lick it and return it in it's pack for someone else to eat...(okay maybe not the best comparison, but you get what I mean)

Virginity is part of being sexually pure, but you can be a virgin and not be sexually pure...what am I getting at? Sexual purity is so much more than remaining a virgin physically. Purity means freedom from contamination, from any thing that would spoil the taste of pleasure, reduce power or in any way adulterate what the thing was meant to be. It means cleanness, clearness-no additives, nothing artificial in other words 'all natural' in the sense in which the original designer designed it to be.(definition borrowed from Elisabeth Elliot)

So can I say then that what we do (the making out, cuddling, petting, oral sex, etc) is sin? Or can I say that it might take the edge off, spoil the taste of pleasure later on, it might distract the heart?
Jesus commended the Pharisees for teaching the doctrines but they exemplified little of what they taught. It is always the heart's direction that matters....God is always concerned about your heart,....so why are you doing all that you do? Is it to remain sexually pure or is it to remain a virgin? or is it to try balancing your desires with that of God by justifying it by saying..'we did not go the whole way'.....

2. You will fall off the cliff soon

As humans we tend to get bored with routine, doing the same thing over and over again leaves us with the urge of taking it a notch higher or doing the 'thing' differently in order to get the excitement of doing it back.So how long do you think you can last before you two decide to increase the pleasure and the excitement? How long do you think it will take before you start looking for excuses to fall down the cliff? This is where you will get yourselves trying to justify it by saying...'After all we will get married eventually', or 'we have already got this far'.....etc....




3. If you are ashamed of what you are doing then stop

Because you are already asking how far you can go, probably it is because you already know you want or you are already doing something that you cannot tell your pastor about....
Every time you do anything that leaves you feeling ashamed is a sign you should stop.....run back far away from the cliff and stay there......


Why do we get ourselves asking this question as Christians? Number one reason is because our hearts are not right with God, because once you understand that God has called you to be Holy just like He is.....it should push you to a higher level and to higher standards..where you are not trying to test and see how far you can go before you sin but where you run far away from what may lead you to sin....because you get to understand that as a Christian, your standards have been set much much much higher than that of the world because you are a reflection of Christ on earth....

Meaning even in our relationships we are called to set the bar so high so that we may be able to walk in purity, thing is you can pray not to fall into sin and even bind spirits but if you two do not put boundaries that will help you walk in purity you are bound to fall....

Wouldn't that relationship be boring? what then will distinguish you two as boyfriend and girlfriend and not just friends? 
 There are a lot of fun things you can do together that will enable you to bond in a way that all the other ways cannot. Thing is you can make out with anyone, you can do all those things with anyone but if you are looking to marry someone you may want to find out how the person behaves around their friends? family? how they handle finances? how many kids they want? etc so many things that are not determined by whether you get physical or not....

ASK and you shall be answered....ask God to guide you two in the relationship and if truly you two desire to walk in purity, He will honor that and keep you two....if you two are heading closer to the cliff...stop and re-evaluate your relationship and see if you are honoring God in it maybe it is time to put new boundaries in the relationship.....if you two have already fallen off the cliff and desire to walk in purity....ask for forgiveness and put boundaries in the relationship and get people who will keep you two accountable...if you are the only one in the relationship trying not to get to the edge of the cliff and the other party is pushing you? Walk away, as hard as it may be...you have to choose them or honoring God.....

TAMING THE TONGUE

Before I talk about ways in which we can tame our tongues its good to mention a few ways in which it gets out of control.....you cannot come up with a remedy without first understanding the problem, right? 

Problem #1 : Curse words/Vulgar language

We have diluted the use of the curse words by either abbreviating them or by incorporating them into jokes then at the end we say "pardon my french"....so does this make it okay to use them? Indulge me for a second (please sit down)

Synonyms of Vulgar language: (courtesy of thesaurus.com)

• Dirty word 
• Filthy language
• Obscenity
• Foul language
• Cursing
• Profanity

Ephesians 5:4: Let there be no filthiness nor foolish talk nor crude joking, which are out of place, but instead let there be thanksgiving.

Colosians 3:8: But now you must put them all away: anger, wrath, malice, slander, and obscene talk from your mouth.

We are warned against using such words, we are not given options that it is okay to use them when ....but we are told we MUST put them away, there should be NO filthiness in our talk. Note the words MUST and NO...they do not give a leeway for us to give options or alternatives.... 

 Abbreviating them or inserting them into jokes does not make them lose meaning, they remain curse words.

Problem #2: Swearing

There is a trend of people saying..."I swear this...I swear that" mostly used to show our degree of certainty of whatever we are saying is true or for us to promise someone we will keep our end of the deal...

Matthew 5:33-37:“Again you have heard that it was said to those of old, ‘You shall not swear falsely, but shall perform to the Lord what you have sworn.’ But I say to you, Do not take an oath at all, either by heaven, for it is the throne of God, or by the earth, for it is his footstool, or by Jerusalem, for it is the city of the great King. And do not take an oath by your head, for you cannot make one hair white or black. Let what you say be simply ‘Yes’ or ‘No’; anything more than this comes from evil.

James 5:12: But above all, my brothers, do not swear, either by heaven or by earth or by any other oath, but let your “yes” be yes and your “no” be no, so that you may not fall under condemnation.

It is enough to say yes or no.....let someone take you at your word, if they do not then there are some trust issues probably...but do not sin so that you can get them to believe you...

Problem #3:Calling the name of the Lord in vain

It is equal to mean calling His name for no purpose, you know the OMGs (again abbreviating it),   we throw around.....we tend to use His name in insignificant ways making Him look less that who He is....(calling His name in vain means a lot more than saying"Oh my God!") but I will focus on this today...because....

This usually shows the condition of our hearts, like how much do we revere Him? How much does He mean to us? Do we not understand that He is GOD, the maker of the Universe, the beginning and the end? the one who will stand before to give an account of our lives? 

Problem #4 : Speaking negative words to yourself

Proverbs 18:21: The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love to talk will have to eat their own words.

This means that the words we speak are alive, so when we speak negative words about ourselves they are alive until we counteract them with positive words. You will eat the fruit of every word you speak about yourself if you call yourself a fool that is exactly who you will turn out to be. Learn to talk positively about yourself and trust me you will see life getting better.

Problem #5 Not knowing when to keep quite

i. Stay silent when you are angry

It is always best to hold your tongue because most likely you will not speak pleasant words. You will only stir up trouble. It is normal to get angry but do not let your anger cause you to sin, sit back relax then speak when you are sober minded to avoid trying to take back words spoken out of anger.

Ephesians 4:26 Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on the cause of your anger.

ii. Do not gossip

When someone confides in you about their lives, tame your tongue to not share with others what was shared in confidentiality. You will be labelled a blabber...and no one wants to hang out with one..

Proverbs 20:19: Whoever goes about slandering reveals secrets; therefore do not associate with a simple babbler.

Lastly, always keep quite when you are tempted to say anything that will hurt or discourage anyone, remember you cannot take back your words nor the feelings created by them.

Solution #1: Hope in Jesus

James 3:4-8:  Or take ships as an example. Although they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are steered by a very small rudder wherever the pilot wants to go. Likewise, the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole body, sets the whole course of one’s life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell.

All kinds of animals, birds, reptiles and sea creatures are being tamed and have been tamed by mankind, but no human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison.

We are warned that our tongue as small as it is can cause us to end up in hell, that it is restless and full of deadly poison and then again we are told that no human being can tame it.....so is there any hope for us?

Yes, the hope is Jesus, because what is impossible with man is possible with Him. By accepting Him into your life, He will direct you on how to tame your tongue; to know the right words to use, to know when to speak and when to keep quite, to be able to use your words to encourage and praise and not to destroy. 

It is only through having life in Christ are we able to change our hearts because out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks, it all begins with a change in our hearts something only Christ can do, we may try  to do it ourselves but we will fail because their only much we can do and our will is never enough. Through HIM we can do all things...in this case...tame our tongue....

CHRISTIAN MEN ARE THE WORST!

"Christian men are the worst!"....is a statement I have heard so many times from ladies who have dated these men....

I always interrogate further to find out why they came up with that conclusion and all the answers I get can be summed up into one....'they are pretenders'.....

So is this true?...Lets find out.....

Ladies, a man will tell you he is saved/ he loves Jesus...but I advice that you do not take him at his word, so I will give you 5 key things you should consider as RED FLAGS when you see them in a man who claims to be saved  and run!


1. He is trying to sleep with you

I put this as number one because it is one of the common answers I have heard from ladies. So you meet this good looking guy in church/you serve in the same ministry/ he told you he is saved and you hit it off then when you tell him that you want to wait till marriage he says he has a problem with that and he cannot wait that long or he is always trying to get you two to 'chill' at his place to have some 'alone' time with you....RUN!

Why? A man who is truly in love with Jesus values purity, it will not be an issue for him to wait till marriage, he will not try to make you stumble. He will protect your purity because he knows that this is what God requires of him. So if he is truly saved like he says he is he will not try to sleep with you.....


2. His type of entertainment

I have met several men who have claimed to be saved but when you listen to the type of music they listen to or the movies they watch something just never adds up. What do I mean? If the man listens to music that demeans women or music that does not reflect his Christianity, that is a red flag! Why?

Ever heard of garbage in garbage out? if he has no problem listening to music that demeans women etc then why do you think his mind or actions will be any different? Or the movies he watches, they tell a lot about where his heart is.If his heart is in Christ, honey, there are things he will not tolerate.

Even yourself, if you are saved you know there is some music/movies you will not entertain so why else would he if he if truly saved?  so RUN!

3. He over-uses 'christian lingo'

You know the type of brothers who are always like...'hey sister mary'...or they ask you out on a date and all they are quoting is scripture....do not get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with scripture and am not saying scriptures should not be mentioned when out on a date but try and get to know the other person through a normal conversation...

So why is this a problem? Allow me to use this example; you see how men who try to be women behave? They always exaggerate how women behave..why? Because they are working extra hard to hide the fact that they physically look and sound like men...so it is all a distraction to prevent you from seeing them for who they are... exactly the same thing when you meet a brother who goes way overboard with 'christian lingo' RUN! He is hiding behind it....


4. The friends he keeps

There are these group of men who you will always hear say that.....'my friends are the ones who make me to go out clubbing or drinking'....they will always use this as an excuse when you ask them why they say they are saved yet go out clubbing.....truth is, that is the true him and he pretends when around you....so what do you do? RUN!

A godly man surrounds himself with men who will hold him accountable, men who he shares the same faith with and who he looks up to....show me your friends and I will show you who you are....(ring a bell?)

5. He says he is saved but does not go to church

The brothers who say that they love God but they do not go to church because they believe that salvation is a personal thing or because they do not trust pastors...yaaaaawn!

Christians are encouraged to always have the habit of meeting and even so Christians are called the church of Christ for a reason, because it is a group of people who come together to fellowship with each other, keep each other accountable and do God's work.
A true believer is a member of a church, yes...they are....
So RUN!

2 Corinthians 11:14: and no wonder, for Satan himself masquerades as an angel of light


So many women are falling into the hands of such men and end up hurt and broken and we start claiming that 'its better the devil you know than the angel you don;t know".... truth is you just fell for someone who masqueraded as someone he is not...because you missed the red flags....

So, dear ladies do not be deceived that Christian men are the worst, they are the best! A man who is truly under the submission of Christ will understand how to love you like Christ commanded and when you submit to him you will be submitting to Christ. (PS. He will NOT be perfect)
Truth is, men will claim that they are saved because that is the kind of guy you want so that they can get you. Be alert! Find out for yourself if what he says is true....